- Martha Grant: Oh, by the way, is this perfume a little strong?
- Carolyn Muir: Perhaps a little.
- Martha Grant: Strong enough to get up into your sinuses and make ya dizzy?
- Carolyn Muir: Oh, not that strong.
- Martha Grant: Oh, maybe I better put on a little more. Thanks.
- Candice Muir: Women are supposed to take a long time in the bathroom.
- Jonathan Muir: Why?
- Candice Muir: Because they have to perfume and cream and powder themselves so they'll be beautiful.
- Jonathan Muir: Boy, no wonder it takes YOU so long.
- Candice Muir: [turning to Carolyn] And you still think someday women are REALLY gonna like HIM?
- Dr. Milton Rodman: Nothing pleases me more than the sight of good, healthy gums.
- Martha Grant: You're not just saying that to excite me?
- Carolyn Muir: Well, you're perfect from head to toe.
- Martha Grant: Well, how about from stem to stern?
- Dr. Milton Rodman: [sitting together under a full moon] You know, Martha...
- Martha Grant: Yes?
- Dr. Milton Rodman: When you smile...
- Martha Grant: Yes, Doctor?
- Dr. Milton Rodman: I can see the moonlight reflected in your teeth. I did a good job of cleaning them.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: Oh, by the powers... If this is the way women go about trapping men, it's a miracle the race has survived.
- Mrs. Rodman: Don't contradict me, Milton. Remember my heart.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: You haven't got a heart, you old barracuda.