- Emily Gilmore: Lorelai, you do not do this! You do not just leave a person a note!
- [quoting the letter 16-year old pregnant Lorelai left for them]
- Emily Gilmore: "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm in labor. See you later, Lorelai"! You do not leave your house when you're having a baby without telling your mother. You say, "Excuse me, Mom, I'm having a baby, give me a ride to the damn hospital!"
- Sherry Tinsdale: I don't know what to do.
- Lorelai: Well the first thing you have to do is calm down and stop working.
- Sherry Tinsdale: Okay.
- Lorelai: And the second thing is you need to tell me why you're sitting like that.
- Sherry Tinsdale: Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat it makes the baby come out faster.
- Lorelai: Okay! So long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.
- Lorelai: Hello?
- Rory: Mom, they're giving me gloves.
- Lorelai: What are you talking about?
- Rory: I don't want gloves, I don't want a gown, I don't wanna be in there.
- Lorelai: In where?
- Rory: In the delivery room with Sherry.
- Lorelai: What?
- Rory: Dad's not here yet and she's freaking out and she told the nurse I'm going in.
- Lorelai: Where are her other friends?
- Rory: They had to work, I'm here all by myself, and I'm trying to be calm but I'm starting to feel nauseous and... and the hospital has a smell, and there are noises, and those gowns do not stay closed, and I've seen a lot of butts today, and and...
- Lorelai: Ok sweetie, calm down.
- Rory: I need you.
- Lorelai: Rory?
- Rory: I need you, I need you here, I need you now, I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and damn it, I don't care who knows it!
- Lorelai: What hospital is it?
- Rory: Boston Memorial. I really really like you.
- Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs closed till I get there.
- Rory: Does that work?
- Lorelai: No, bye.
- Lorelai: [entering Luke's] Okay! I have five minutes to drink as much coffee as I can before I have to drive to Hartford to spend the evening with my mother alone, and who am I saying this to?
- Kirk Gleason: I was listening.
- Lorelai: Where's Luke?
- Kirk Gleason: I don't know.
- Lorelai: Well is he here? Is he coming back? How fresh is that pot?
- Kirk Gleason: I don't know, I don't know, it was sitting there when I got here but that's only been a minute so I don't know.
- Lorelai: [Luke enters] Oh, thank god. Hey, I desperately need a maaassive cup of coffee to go, and - What happened to your face?
- Luke Danes: What do you mean?
- Lorelai: It's - visible.
- Luke Danes: Oh, I shaved.
- Lorelai: Are you going to the bank?
- Luke Danes: No.
- Lorelai: Funeral?
- Luke Danes: No.
- Lorelai: Drag club?
- Luke Danes: Let's get you your coffee, shall we?
- Madeline Lynn: I called last night and asked her to talk me through the Korean War, and she said she was busy.
- Louise Grant: Oh she's definitely got a boyfriend.
- Madeline Lynn: I know.
- Louise Grant: Well I for one think it's about time.
- Madeline Lynn: I agree.
- Louise Grant: It wasn't healthy, all that non-dating.
- Madeline Lynn: Definitely didn't help that whole skin thing she was going through.
- Louise Grant: How come she didn't tell us?
- Madeline Lynn: I think she just wanted to make sure it was going to take.
- Louise Grant: So, tell us, what's this Jamie like?
- Rory: You know, I really don't feel like talking about Paris right now. Or ever.
- Madeline Lynn: Oh, come on, you know him, we don't.
- Louise Grant: Is he sexy?
- Madeline Lynn: Does he have a good car?
- Louise Grant: How's the trust fund?
- Madeline Lynn: How's the profile?
- Louise Grant: Will the prom pictures work?
- Madeline Lynn: How are his friends?
- Louise Grant: Yes! Is there spinoff potential?
- [Paris walks by]
- Louise Grant: Whoops.
- Madeline Lynn: [to Rory] Bye!