- Lorelai Gilmore: You know if you weren't so pretty, you would have gotten the crap kicked out of you every day of your life.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Lord of the Rings is all about the love.
- Roger: Nuh-uh, it's about the destruction of all mankind.
- Lorelai Gilmore: And who doesn't love that?
- Paris: [refering to the twins] Yo, Pim and Bim, up. Out!
- Rory Gilmore: Sorry. She's my roomate. Call me.
- Sookie St. James: I don't want to be pregnant any more!
- Lorelai Gilmore: What are you going to do; walk it off?
- Sookie St. James: You know what happens when kids don't like you? They tie you to a chair, they brain you with a bat, they set fire to the house and blame it on the neighbours!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Wow, now you can't have kids -or- live next door to them.
- Sookie St. James: I don't know how to talk to them, I don't know how to feed them. I cover up their party cloths and I set their fingers on fire.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Just this once!
- Sookie St. James: I make them eat jalapeño-chipotle cream sauce. I'm Mommie Dearest!
- Lorelai Gilmore: OK, back in the kitchen.
- Sookie St. James: NO, I can't go back! I've got hummus in there! God knows what I'll do with it!