- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I don't know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it. You know, if all of you at the beginning of your careers could get very sick and very scared for a while, you'd probably learn more from that than from anything else. You better start listening to your patients. They need to be heard. They need caring. They need compassion. They need attending to. You know, someday doctor Budd, you're going to be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am and as ANGRY as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.
- Sophia: [after Rose has done yet another stupid thing] Your heart is in the right place, Rose, but I don't know where the hell your brain is.
- Laverne Todd: [about Oliver's urine sample] Give me that - that's not his, he had Buddy Kline do it for him!
- Dr. Harry Weston: This is a proxy?
- Laverne Todd: He don't mind doing it in his own bed, but there's something about doing it in a public place.
- Dr. Harry Weston: Kinda like sex.
- Laverne Todd: Maybe where you come from.
- Blanche Devereaux: My God! I'm hallucinatin'! I see little balls of sunshine in a bag! Does this mean somethin'?
- [holds up a bag of egg yolks]
- Rose Nylund: Blanche, those are egg yolks.
- Blanche Devereaux: [smiling] My brain's gone!
- Blanche Devereaux: [a few moments later; same bag of egg yolks] Rose, what is this? Yellow eye balls are starin' at me!
- Dr. Harry Weston: You know, there are all kinds of diseases that we didn't know about before. Look at lyme disease.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Harry, am I gonna die?
- Dr. Harry Weston: I'm afraid so.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You really think so?
- Dr. Harry Weston: [shrugs] Sooner or later, I guarantee it. Unless, of course, the Japanese come up with something.
- Blanche Devereaux: [about her romance novel] I don't believe it - another rejection! And this one isn't even personal. It's a form letter! They just filled in my name at the top, see? Oh, I'm so upset. I put everything into this, Rose, all of me, I held nothing back. Then to have some snot-nosed little kid from Harvard send me a form letter - oh! I'm so mad I could scream... AHHHHHHHH!
- Rose Nylund: That's the first time I've ever seen someone say 'I'm so mad I could scream' and then actually do it. It's like 'I laughed all the way to the bank', I've never seen anybody do that either.
- Sophia: [Dorothy's getting ready for her doctor's appointment] Wipe off your lipstick.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: What?
- Sophia: You look too healthy, maybe that's why nobody believes you, you don't *look* sick.
- [Blanche stumbles in in her nightclothes, bleary eyed and disoriented]
- Sophia: She should go, they'd believe her.
- Blanche Devereaux: [exhausted] What day is this?
- Rose Nylund: Good luck, Dorothy, I hope he finds something wrong.
- [Dorothy looks at her]
- Rose Nylund: Oh not something *wrong* wrong, I mean wrong as in you know you're right when you say there's something wrong and you haven't been wrong all along.
- Blanche Devereaux: My God I am so tired I can't understand people when they speak anymore. What did she just say, Dorothy, was that a poem?
- [about the cup with Oliver's urine sample]
- Oliver: How are you gonna know it's not chicken soup?
- Dr. Harry Weston: Well, we don't keep chicken soup here, we only have vegetable soup. And if that looks like vegetable soup, you're in a lot of trouble.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [chewing Dr. Budd out for dismissing her illness] I suspect had I been a man, I wouldn't have been told to go to a hairdresser.
- Dr. Budd: Now look, I don't have to sit here and...
- Helen Budd: Shut up, Louis!