- Rose Nylund: [reading the morning paper] They caught Gil Kessler having an affair.
- Dorothy Zbornak: [assuming it's a joke] Oh, you're kidding. With whom?
- Rose Nylund: Well, they don't know her name, but look, they hid in the bushes and took this picture of her from behind going into his house.
- Dorothy Zbornak: I don't believe th... wait a minute, that looks like Blanche's red dress.
- Sophia: And those look like Blanche's red shoes.
- Dorothy Zbornak: And aren't they her diamond earrings and gold bracelet?
- Rose Nylund: [outraged] That little floozie stole Blanche's clothes!
- Dorothy Zbornak: It's like having Agatha Christie right here in our kitchen! Rose, Blanche *is* that little floozie!
- Rose Nylund: You... you mean he...
- Sophia: She's at the fifty.
- Rose Nylund: They...
- Sophia: The forty.
- Rose Nylund: She...
- Sophia: The thirty.
- Rose Nylund: [Blanche walks in] Blanche, it's *you*!
- Blanche: [mocking] Oh, you're getting so good at that, Rose, now who's that over there?
- [the phone rings]
- Blanche: Hello? Yes, this is Blanche and how did you get this number? And better yet, why am I even talking to you? I don't like you. Matter of fact I hate you. You can just tear up my number and then go climb back under your slimy rock with all the rest of your slimy friends! And don't you EVER call here again!
- [slams the phone down]
- Blanche: Dorothy, call Stan.
- Sophia: [Sophia has reservations about the City Council candidate Dorothy is supporting] He's a wimp, Dorothy.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh, ma. For your information, Gil Kessler is a very bright man, an honest and devoted civic leader... and probably the biggest wimp I've ever known in my life.
- Sophia: That's not all. There's something else I don't like about him.
- Dorothy Zbornak: What?
- Sophia: I don't know. It's a hunch. I can't put my finger on it. But if I could, I would have to wash it.
- Rose Nylund: [a local politician reveals a long-held secret] I'm still confused about the operation Gil Kessler had. Is the man asleep during it?
- Dorothy Zbornak: [wearily] I think so, Rose.
- Rose Nylund: And what about the parts they put on. Do they test them first?
- Dorothy Zbornak: [mocking] Of course, Rose, like windshield wipers.
- Rose Nylund: So they work?
- Dorothy Zbornak: I assume so, yes.
- Rose Nylund: What are they made of?
- Dorothy Zbornak: [exasperated] Silly Putty, Rose!