- Charlotte Sandler: David's biological father is a subject we don't discuss in this house. Suffice it to say there was a time in Denise's life when she was... Oh, how shall I put this delicately? A slut?
- Harlan Shell: David, boy are you one lucky bronco! You're rich, you're young, you can still see your willy without using a mirror!
- David: Your son got accepted to the Puget Academy for Boys!
- Denise Sandler: Oh well, David, isn't that wonderful?
- David: Yeah, you know, the nutty thing is I never applied to Puget Academy for Boys.
- Denise Sandler: Alright, I did it. I don't like that school you're attending. There's far too many girls there who are after you for your money.
- David: Well, you solved that one. Now there'll be boys after me for my money.