- The boys set up a bogus Tour company to make money, but their scheme is jeopardized when a Detective's Club demands a tour. Things get worse when three crooks disguise themselves as the Goodies and kidnap them and the detectives.
- Graeme and Bill - with Tim's reluctant help - set up the bogus company "Goodie Hols", which, through elaborate sets and costumes, is designed to trick people into thinking they're traveling the world when they are really not going more than a mile or two outside Cricklewood. Unfortunately, their first customers are none other than a club of Detective Enthusiasts who not only dress but behave as famous fictional detectives of the past. Tricking them is no easy task but the boys manage to pull it off, until the train they are pretending is the Orient Express is hijacked by three crooks disguised as Bill, Tim, and Grame. The train is taken to the "Festival Le Boring" in Cannes, France, where the boys and detectives must stop the crooks from using it as a device that will cause them to win a hotly contested international trophy, the Rose Bore.—E. E. Buchanan
- Graeme and Bill show Tim an advert they've put together for a company they've dubbed "Goodie Hols", which purports to be able to cater exciting adventure holidays to suit any taste, anywhere around the globe. Tim is concerned about the expense of this extravagant scheme, but Bill goes on to explain that the whole thing is a con, in which they will simply be using sets and costumes to trick the customers into thinking they are in exotic places. Tim isn't much happier with this but when they tell him they'll handle the majority of it and all he has to do is wear costumes and keep smiling, he decides to go along. They also tell him he can be in charge of answering the phone and taking orders, and warn him to under no circumstances refuse a customer.
Unfortunately, the very first customers to call are a club of Detective enthusiasts, who dress and act like famous fictional detectives of literature and television. They demand an exciting trip with a crime to solve. This is much to Bill and Graeme's dismay, as they know fooling them is not going to be easy. But they set up a train in a station, though they do not plan to have it move, and Bill gets a record of train sounds from Graeme. Tim dresses as a stewardess and Graeme as the conductor, while Bill gets the sets and props ready. The groups from the Detectives' Club show up, all in costume and character - Miss Marples, Ironsides, Poirots, Father Browns, Sherlock Holmes' and Watsons', Kojaks, and many more.
Graeme's fast talking, Bill's running by windows with props to simulate passing scenery, Tim's quick change skills and the blessing of a freak snowstorm convince the skeptical passengers that they are indeed on the Orient Express and traveling at top speed around the globe, even though the train hasn't moved. At the end of the day Tim and Grame retire to the livestock car, which only contains a single goat, to discuss what to do for the next part of the club's order - the crime. Bill barges in, having unfortunately hidden under the lavatory during the snowstorm right about the same time it was in use, smelling dreadful and feeling extremely angry. He informs Tim and Graeme that he refuses to go along with this scheme any longer and gives Grame back the train record. But Grame notices the train is rumbling and making noises even though the record is off and suspects something is wrong. Bill tries to leave the train and falls out, and discovers it is indeed moving - someone has hijacked it. He runs and manages to catch up just before the train enters the Chunnel, much to Tim's relief as he and Graeme thought Bill had been drowned in the ocean. However, Bill is still angry, and hits Tim over the head with a frying pan to stop his dramatics.
Back in their normal clothes and characters, the boys confront the "detectives" and admit to them what has happened, and that they do not know who is driving the train. They try to solve the mystery but as they sort through clues and detectives start being killed off one by one it looks increasingly like the boys themselves are the culprits. Bill and Graeme manage to deflect all the suspicion onto Tim, who, upset his own friends would suspect him, declares his intention of trying to swim for it and jumps out the door - only to discover that they are out of the Chunnel and someone has disconnected the car they are in from the rest of the train. It is now being carried by two large cargo helicopters through the sky and Tim only narrowly escapes a deadly fall by hanging onto the door.
The cables are let go and the train car falls with a terrific crash. When the lights come on and everyone stands up again, the boys, suddenly calm, explain to the detectives to sit tight and that everything is under control now. They go into the livestock portion of the one remaining train car....to reveal that these three "Goodies" are the hijackers and that in the confusion they have gagged and tied the real Tim, Bill, and Graeme up by the goat's pen. The train car, now on the back of a huge flatbed truck, makes its way through Cannes, France to the "International Festival le Boring".
Graeme - the real Graeme - gets the idea that they should get the goat to eat the ropes off. As they wait for it to do so, they discover that these three false Goodies are French Mimes who are aiming to win the Rose Bore trophy at all costs, and they are using the train car as a prop because they are planning to mime the whole "Murder on the Orient Express" film with it. And as no contender has bored the audience so badly, it looks as if they might win. However, Tim, Bill and Graeme don't want the mimes to get away with their dastardly plot, so once they are free they upstage them with a lively musical number.
The mimes retaliate by showing they have almost magical powers - anything they pretend is there, be it a snowball, a gun, a grenade, a door, a wall, or gust of wind, suddenly appears to attack the boys. However, The detectives' club members finally manage to break out of the train car, and using the Ironsides' wheelchairs to gain speed on the mostly downhill streets, they chase after the mimes, who flee on invisible scooters. The Goodies also do the same, and the goat even jumps in the last wheelchair and rides down the hill with them.
One by one, the mimes use invisible banana peels, invisible grenades, and invisible walls to shake their enemies. The boys stick on their tail but then launch up a sudden steep incline and get tangled in a large banner strung across the street. One mime manages to trick the last of the detectives down a one-way street where they crash into a truck and are carried away by it.
Graeme, Bill, and Tim drop from the banner to pursue the mimes on foot but they have managed to get to the coast and are about to set off in a rowboat. The goat, still speeding down the hill in the last wheelchair, crashes into the one mime still on the shore and he crashes into the boat, breaking it in two and causing it and the occupants to sink. The Goodies laugh with relief, and then discover the Festival le Boring judges have given them scores for their "performance."
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