- [Due to being overly charitable, the Goodies are in financial difficulty. They have just heard a knock on the door and assume it's a customer]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Now if they want us to do something for free, what do we say?
- Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden: [Vehemently] NO!
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: No!
- Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden: NO!
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Right!
- [Tim opens the door and all three Goodies are speechless to discover that their new 'customer' is an extremely beautiful young woman]
- Hazel Nuts: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me? I'm afraid I haven't any money.
- Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden: Oh that's alright! Come in!
- [the Goodies are on a trecherous expedition to find a lost tribe with Hazel Nuts. They have just bedded down for the night in their multi-room tent]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: I don't know why we have a woman on an expedition like this, anyway.
- Bill Oddie: I'll think of something!
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: She'll sprain her ankle.
- Graeme Garden: Now look! Hazel is as fit and healthy as any of us! Just think of her as one of the boys.
- Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor: [In agreement] One of the boys!
- [the Goodies lie down to go to sleep. A few seconds later, Hazel walks through the main area of the tent in her nightie. She steps over the Goodie's heads and, presumably, gives all three of them a good look up the bottom of her nightie. After she leaves, all three Goodies sit upright with stunned expressions on their faces]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Uh, one of the boys just went through.
- Graeme Garden: Yeah, I know. I saw him.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: I wish we could get our central heating going.
- Bill Oddie: Oh well, that's his fault, isn't it?
- [Gesturing at Graeme]
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Yeah, a nice little gas fire would have done us, and you have to install a *nuclear generator*.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Wait a minute, I thought I recognised you! You're... you're... you can't be!
- Professor Nuts: I am! Professor Nuts, the educated comic.
- Tim Brooke-Taylor: Well I'll be! But why didn't you tell us your name was Nuts, Hazel?
- Hazel Nuts: I try to keep it to myself.
- [the Goodies are preparing to go on a dangerous expedition in to the Orinoco, in search of Hazel's lost father]
- Hazel Nuts: There is just one thing...
- Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie: Yeeeees?
- Hazel Nuts: I must go with you!
- Graeme Garden: But the south American jungle is no place for a little gal!
- Hazel Nuts: I'm not a little girl. I'm a mature woman.
- Graeme Garden: [Chuckling wickedly] That's alright then!