The Goodies (TV Series)

The Stone Age (1973)

Graeme Garden: Graeme Garden

Quotes 

• Graeme Garden : [as they enter the Tyrannosaur's stomach and look at the dried bones littered about]  Fascinating! It's lain here undisturbed since the Cretaceous Era! Look at this - the remains of its last meal!

  Bill : [Starts rooting through the bones]  Oh yes, very tasty, too. Look at this. A couple pterodactyls, for starters. A sabertooth tiger, one buffalo off-the-bone, and one cheese and chutney sandwich...

  [Suddenly stops] 

  Bill : Wait a minute. I thought you said this had lain here since the Cretaceous Era.

  Graeme Garden : I did.

  Bill : Well, there weren't any Sabertooth Tigers then, you fool! The subfamily of Sabertooth Tigers originated in the Oligocene period!

• Tim : HELP! We've been gobbled by a prehistoric monster!

  Bill : Tim!

  Tim : Help!

  Bill : Tim! Panicking does not help!

  Tim : Yes it does!

  Bill : Yes it does...

  Tim , Bill : HELP! HELP! HELP!

  Graeme Garden : Stop it, you two - that isn't doing any good! We'll just have to try and lift it. Right, one, two, three, HEAVE!

  [They strain and struggle to re-open the dinosaur's mouth, with minimal success] 

  Tim : Aaah! My hand! My hand! It's caught between it's teeth! IT'S TEETH!

  Bill : All right, all right, all right. Oy, Graeme! You got a toothpick?

  Graeme Garden : No, you fool! One, two, three...

  [He and Bill lift the mouth enough to get Tim's hand free but can't get it open the rest of the way] 

  Graeme Garden : Oh dear, this is no good. We'll just have to find another way out.

  Tim : Just be careful WHICH one you choose.

• Graeme Garden : [pondering how to get out of the T-rex's innards]  I wonder if I could get up its nose?

  Bill : With the very greatest of ease, I should think! You get up mine, mate!

• Graeme Garden : [after he and Tim escape, he sees Bill's not with them]  Bill! Bill!

  Tim : Never mind him, let's go home!

  Graeme Garden : [Splutters]  But we can't just leave him! I mean, I know you don't like him...

  Tim : That has got nothing to do with it! I was thinking of the insurance!