The Greatest American Hero (TV Series)

Divorce, Venusian Style (1982)

William Katt: Ralph Hinkley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph Hinkley : Oh, terrific. Now I can join a flea circus!

• Ralph Hinkley : [after being revived]  I told her! Pam, you can't cook - you can't cook eggs in half a pound of butter.

• Bill Maxwell : Now you've done it.

  Ralph Hinkley : No, Bill. You've gone commandeer crazy. You want to take a shower, you commandeer the bathroom. You want to watch something on TV, you commandeer the television set. Well, you want to get some relish, Bill? Why don't you go out there and commandeer the wiener wagon? Maybe if you flip your badge they'll give you a free cola.

• Bill Maxwell : I gotta thank you a lot, Ralph. Okay. Time out. This is a time, big "T", because we're gonna have to run stakeout procedures one more time. Ralph, since you're still a little bit green when it comes to, uh...

  Ralph Hinkley : When it comes to waiting for - let me see if I get this straight - waiting for, uh, some suspected interstate felons who are allegedly on the lam, holed up, uh, hitting the mattresses, waiting for the rest of their gang to show up in another armpit dive exactly like this one. And our job, our duty, our mission is to starve the bad guys out. My, I'm having such a wonderful time.

  Bill Maxwell : Exactly my sentiments, kiddo. I never told you this was gonna be a walk in the park.

  Ralph Hinkley : You got there me, Bill. You said it was going to be a weekend at the beach. And the beach is only about six miles that way by bus.

• Bill Maxwell : And I said that was a federal phone, kid.

  Ralph Hinkley : Hi, Pam?

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : Yes?

  Ralph Hinkley : Would you do me a favor and pick me up?

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : Okay. What is it this time? Bil trying to recycle you through basic training?

  Ralph Hinkley : Uh, I can't talk right now. I'm on a federal phone.

• Ralph Hinkley : Why did you give us the suit? Why us?

  Alien : There are so few garden planets left. So few. I will show you one. Once it was beautiful, almost perfect, like yours. Now it is wasteland.

• Ralph Hinkley : This was a garden?

  Bill Maxwell : Boy, that's worse than a desert. There's nothing there. What is it?

  Ralph Hinkley : Bill, this is his planet - his home. This is where he's from. Was from.

• Ralph Hinkley : Now, wait a second. Don't start commandeering this already. That's what got us into this whole mess in the first place. This book was given to me. I have the suit.

  Bill Maxwell : What got us in this mess in the first place was you losing that. Now gimme.

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : Will you two cool it?

  [opens up book] 

  Ralph Hinkley : Well, sure. Why no! I mean, here. Help yourself. Hope you polished up on your Venusian recently.

  Bill Maxwell : Mm-hmm. What is this, a gag? That's silly. I can't...

  [shouts] 

  Bill Maxwell : You sent us the wrong copy!

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : Bill, you probably have to have the suit on in order to read it.

  Ralph Hinkley : Exactly what I was thinking. Uh, what'd you do with the suit?

  Bill Maxwell : What?

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : He needs the suit to read the book, Bill.

  Bill Maxwell : What suit?

  Ralph Hinkley : You know, I-I gave you the suit, and I got shot. Where is it, in the wiener wagon?

  Bill Maxwell : No, it's not in the wie... No. I guess I left it with the Nazis.

  Pam Davidson Hinkley : What?