Happy Days (TV Series)
A.K.A. the Fonz (1976)
Henry Winkler: Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli
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Quotes
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Sheriff Kirk : [he and Delvecchio are detaining Fonz in his "office"] Alright, Fonzarelli, assume the position, and don't try any funny business.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : [putting his hands against the wall] Alright. But if you tickle me, I'm gonna slap your face.
[Delvecchio laughs; Kirk starts searching the Fonz]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : [pretending to read the wall] Eileen Kirk...
Sheriff Kirk : That's my daughter's name! What's my daughter's name doing on that wall?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Oh, I'm just kidding. It ain't up there. It's in the yellow pages.
[Delvecchio laughs]
Sheriff Kirk : [to Delvecchio] Ten-hut!
[Delvecchio stands at attention. Kirk feels something in the pocket of Fonz's jacket]
Sheriff Kirk : What's that in your pocket?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Oh, yeah. That's just...
Sheriff Kirk : Just reach in there with two fingers, Fonzarelli. And bring it out slowly. Watch him, Al.
Al Delvecchio : I will.
Sheriff Kirk : [chuckles] Well, well, well. Carrying a concealed weapon: the switchblade.
Al Delvecchio : I never would've believed it.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Yeah, Well, well, well. You caught me with the goods didn't you, huh?
Sheriff Kirk : Yes, we did, Fonzarelli. And you're gonna spend a little time in the big house.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Yeah, yeah, that's cool. 'Cause I'm gonna be the first man locked up for carrying a concealed comb.
[flicks the knife open to reveal a comb instead of a blade]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : You see, Kirk, knives ain't cool, but combs are. Huh? Yeah.
Richie Cunningham : [entering the bathroom] I gotta wash my hands!
Sheriff Kirk : Get out of here, Cunningham!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Hey, wait a minute. When did washing hands become against the law?
Sheriff Kirk : Alright, you got away with it this time. But mark my words, I'm gonna run you out of town.
Richie Cunningham : What did Fonzie do wrong?
Sheriff Kirk : I don't like the way he looks.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : I'm hurt.
Sheriff Kirk : And I don't like the way he dresses.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Hey, just for that, I'm gonna date your daughter.
Sheriff Kirk : I'm gonna nail you, Fonzarelli. I'm gonna stick to you like glue. I'm gonna know every move you make.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Hey, that's great. Maybe you're gonna learn something.
[Kirk walks toward the door]
Al Delvecchio : I'm sorry, Fonz.
Sheriff Kirk : AL! MOVE IT OUT! Do have to stand here all day waiting for you?
[he and Al leave. Fonz kicks the stall doors]
Richie Cunningham : You bugged, Fonz? After all those jokes you were cracking?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : He is pushing me. I can't let him see that. But he is pushing me. I can't let him get away with that.
Richie Cunningham : Well, don't worry Fonz. Because I'm on your side. He's gone too far. And I'm gonna do something about this.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : Alright. Just don't get yourself in trouble.
Richie Cunningham : No, no! I'm really steamed! And this calls for drastic action! I'M WRITING A LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE MILWAUKEE JOURNAL!
[leaves the bathroom]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli : That kid is a savage.