- [on Tony Blair's appearance on The Simpsons]
- Martin Clunes: According to The Mirror, the cartoon Blair "comes with sticky out ears and a cheesy grin". Don't knock it, it's a living.
- Martin Clunes: Could you just shut your face. For just five minutes?
- Ruby Wax: Don't you ever interrupt me again.
- Paul Merton: [Missing Headline Round - in response to "John Prescott loses _______ by being locked in a lavatory"] John Prescott loses a "try not to get locked in a lavatory competition".
- Martin Clunes: [a woman has produced a formula for correctly parking a car] Or you could just let the old man park it, love.