- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Speak up, Schultz.
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Well Colonel Hogan asked me if he could leave the camp tonight again to see the baroness.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What did you tell him?
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: I said, Yes. Kommandant Klink's orders.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: You fool! I warned you not to listen to me unless I tell you to.
- Baroness von Krimm: Well, a tall, good-looking man for a change. And I thought this party was going to be such a bore.
- Col. Hogan: Keep talking. You're raising the fur on the leg of my neck.
- Baroness von Krimm: What is it you Americans always say? Um... "Where have you been all my life?"
- Col. Hogan: Right here. And don't go out much anymore.
- Baroness von Krimm: Of course. You're a prisoner.
- Col. Hogan: It only hurts when I'm awake. You live in Hammelburg?
- Baroness von Krimm: Mmm. Part of it, dear. We have a nice little house just outside of town. I would love for you to see it sometime.
- Col. Hogan: Yeah, so would I, but I have an arrangement with the management. And I don't escape, and they don't shoot me.
- Baroness von Krimm: Well, if you ever do escape, Colonel, please drop in.
- Col. Hogan: Keep the swastika burning in the window.
- Baroness von Krimm: Ah.