- Tim Taylor: Rock writes, "Dear Tim: I am the foreman for K & B Construction Company up here in Bay City. My crew and I watch you all the time. We love your clothes - especially the eclectic Italian look with triple-pleated slacks." Thanks, fellas.
- Tim Taylor: These are kids without central nervous systems, all right? We have to learn how to out-torment *them*.
- Jill Taylor: [unimpressed by the idea] Oh, I see; stoop to their level.
- Tim Taylor: Exactly! You wanna teach Brad and Randy a lesson? Tonight, when I'm cookin' that chili, I'll cut up this cauliflower, and we'll tell them we've got rabbit brains in there.
- Mark Taylor: Mom said you're supposed to be nice to me.
- Randy Taylor: You see Mom anywhere in this backyard? Now get lost.
- Mark Taylor: You've *got* to play with me; we're brothers.
- Randy Taylor: ...We're not your brothers.
- Mark Taylor: Yes, you are.
- Randy Taylor: I'm gonna let you in on a secret. We're aliens from outer space.
- Mark Taylor: You're a big fat liar, Randy!
- Randy Taylor: My name isn't Randy; it's Zelnot!
- Brad Taylor: I'm Zorton.
- Mark Taylor: No, you're not; you're Brad and Randy.
- Randy Taylor: No... Brad and Randy are gone. We sucked the blood out of their brains and took over their bodies. We have *many* powers. We can read minds.
- Mark Taylor: No, you can't.
- Randy Taylor: I'll prove it. Zorton?
- Brad Taylor: Talk to me, Zelnot.
- Randy Taylor: I'm thinking of a number between one and ten; what is it?
- Brad Taylor: Four!
- Randy Taylor: That's right.
- Mark Taylor: Are you gonna make Brad and Randy say they're sorry?
- Tim Taylor: Well, you have two choices: You either make 'em apologize, or we could get even.
- Mark Taylor: Get even!
- Tim Taylor: That's my boy!
- Jill Taylor: What are we gonna do about Brad and Randy? They keep tormenting Mark.
- Tim Taylor: That's why we had Mark - so they'd leave *us* alone.
- Tim Taylor: Why are you walkin' backwards? You could hurt yourself doin' that.
- Mark Taylor: Better than getting all my blood sucked out.
- Tim Taylor: ...He's got a good point there.
- Jill Taylor: Have you been talking to your brothers? What have they been telling you now?
- Mark Taylor: They think you're all from outer space.
- Jill Taylor: Honey, you know that's not true.
- Tim Taylor: Jill, sometimes you wake up early in the morning...
- [Tim finds an old eight-track tape in the basement]
- Tim Taylor: "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
- [begins to sing, off key]
- Tim Taylor: In A Gadda Da Vida, baby...
- [Jill takes the tape away]
- Jill Taylor: Who sang "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"?
- Tim Taylor: I just was. In A Gadda Da Vida...
- Jill Taylor: Who sang "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" so people would want to hear it?
- Dwayne Hoover: Now this here is the dipstick off my '87 2-ton pickup. With this, I make my southern speciality: Shish ka-Billy-Bob. Now, the important thing to remember, Tim, before you start cookin', get all that oil off the dipstick.
- [wipes the dipstick with a rag]