Home Improvement (TV Series)

Love's Labor Lost: Part 2 (1999)

Polly Holliday: Lillian Patterson

Quotes 

• Lillian Patterson : Well, now, Jill, honey, listen to yourself. Ever since the surgery, you've been blaming Tim for everything.

  Jill Taylor : That is not true, Mom.

  Lillian Patterson : Well, yes, it is. Now, he tried to make things easier for you at school and you yelled at him. And he waits on you hand and foot, and you yell at him for that, too.

  Jill Taylor : Mom, look, I just came down here to get a cold drink. I don't need a lecture.

  Lillian Patterson : Well, this is not a lecture. This is advice that you shouldn't interrupt until I'm finished.

  Jill Taylor : Well, you're gonna have to finish it without me because I have to work on my thesis.

  Lillian Patterson : Oh, that'll solve everything. Then what are you gonna hide behind when you're done with that?

• Lillian Patterson : Well, every woman has a rough time. And, you know, in my day, we didn't talk about it so easily. The only thing we shared were recipes.

  Jill Taylor : Well, I can't do that. Nobody wants mine.

• Lillian Patterson : [to Jill]  Well, now, you just don't push it. You have to take it easy and give yourself time to recover.

  Jill Taylor : Mom, I don't have time to take it easy. I gotta finish my thesis. Tim, can you find my book bag over there somewhere?

  Tim Taylor : Hey, I've got great news on that front. If you liked me before, you're gonna love me now. I've got you an extension on your thesis.

  Jill Taylor : You what?

  Tim Taylor : Yeah. Talked to your advisor, told him about your hysterectomy. He gave you an extra week.

  Jill Taylor : You what?

  Tim Taylor : I'm not feeling the love.

• Tim Taylor : I wonder if I'm gonna make it through menopause.

  Lillian Patterson : You're doing a great job, Tim. A lot better than my husband.

  Tim Taylor : I bet the Colonel had a problem with this.

  Lillian Patterson : When I went through the change, he slipped a card under my door that read, "Get well. On the double."

  Tim Taylor : Gutsy move.

• Lillian Patterson : Jill, honey, I know you weren't expecting to have a hysterectomy at your age and I know it must be very hard, but you've got to stop taking your anger out on other people and deal with your loss.

  Jill Taylor : I am dealing with my loss, Mom. This is the way I am dealing with my loss! I'm sorry! I am very angry! I hate this! I hate this! I hate this, this empty way I feel! I hate the way I look to myself now. I hate that doctor for doing this to me! I hate my body! I hate myself! I hate everybody and everything!

• Jill Taylor : You told him? I can't believe it! I'm so... Tim, if I had wanted my advisor to know about the hysterectomy, I would have told him. How could you do this to me?

  Lillian Patterson : Well, honey, don't bite his head off.

  Jill Taylor : Mother, please! I don't need him to get me an extension. I don't need Wilson to tell me about menopause on the Mayflower! I don't need Heidi flaunting her perfect boobs in my face! And I most especially don't need Al comparing me to his bearded aunt! God!

  [storms off] 

  Tim Taylor : Let the mood swings begin.

• Lillian Patterson : Well, the Colonel was even worse when my mother went through it. She was living with us at the time. He walked in one day, saw her having a hot flash, did an about-face and volunteered to fight in the Korean War. I didn't see him again until 1957.

  Tim Taylor : Well, didn't the Korean War end in '53?

  Lillian Patterson : Yes!