Home Improvement (TV Series)

The Long and Winding Road: Part 1 (1999)

Patricia Richardson: Jill Taylor

Quotes 

• Tim Taylor : Jill, we gotta talk.

  Jill Taylor : No, honey, I can't. I gotta go to this meeting with Dr. Hanover.

  Tim Taylor : This is very important, honey.

  Jill Taylor : Well, okay. So, what is it? Like, Morgan? He wants you to do another cheesy "Tool Time" and you don't want to do it, right?

  Tim Taylor : No. He wants all "Tool Times" to be cheesy. That's why tomorrow is my last show 'cause I quit.

  Jill Taylor : You quit? You quit the show?

  Tim Taylor : He pushed me too far. Today's show was one of those shock TV shows like Jerry Springer. Tomorrow, he wants me to start an electrical fire. I intentionally start fires, I lose all credibility.

• Tim Taylor : We figure we owe it to our fans to do one more show, but after tomorrow's show, I'm done.

  Jill Taylor : I am so sorry. Are you okay?

  Tim Taylor : No, I'm not okay! That's 10 years of my life. I loved that show. I just hope I can land on my feet.

  Jill Taylor : What are we gonna do for money?

  Tim Taylor : We've got some in savings.

  Jill Taylor : Yeah.

  Tim Taylor : I can put in more time at the hardware store.

  Jill Taylor : That's a way to spend money.

• Dr. Hanover : Jill, I called you in to tell you that I have recommended you for a job.

  Jill Taylor : You... you did? Me?

  Dr. Hanover : You remember our guest lecturer, Dr. Ted Lee?

  Jill Taylor : Yes, I do. He wrote that great book on family counseling.

  Dr. Hanover : Yeah. Well, he just opened a family clinic and he wants you to work for him in his adolescent development program.

  Jill Taylor : This is unbelievable. He wants me?

  Dr. Hanover : Well, he liked the idea of hiring a post-graduate student and he wanted someone with life experience.

  Jill Taylor : This is so great. You can't imagine how good the timing is...

  Dr. Hanover : Well, there is one thing that you should know.

  Jill Taylor : How much money will I be making?

  Dr. Hanover : Excuse me?

  Jill Taylor : Cash. Dollars. How much will I be pulling down?

  Dr. Hanover : Jill, people don't usually take these entry-level jobs for the money.

  Jill Taylor : Oh. Oh, of course not, but I might eventually make, say, what you make?

  Dr. Hanover : People don't take my job for the money.

• Jill Taylor : [to Dr. Hanover]  Look, I'm sorry. I just... my husband lost his job today. So I'm just a little concerned about our financial situation.

  Jill Taylor : Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, you know, I don't know exactly what the salary would be, but I'm sure it won't be enough to support a family of five.

  Jill Taylor : Oh. Well, that's okay. You know, I'm just confident that Tim will be able to get another job and this is a really wonderful opportunity. Thank you so much.

  Dr. Hanover : Oh, you're very welcome, but what I'm trying to tell you is that Dr. Lee's clinic is in Indiana. You'd have to move.

  Jill Taylor : Move?

  Dr. Hanover : Before you ask me what it costs to rent a U-Haul, I don't know!

• Jill Taylor : [to Tim]  Honey, a very prestigious colleague of Dr. Hanover's has offered me a job at his family clinic in Bloomington.

  Tim Taylor : Must be a pretty screwed up family if they have their own clinic.

• Jill Taylor : [to Tim]  I can't believe this. For 20 years, my whole life has revolved around your career and I finally have an opportunity to start my own and you don't even have one.

  Tim Taylor : That's a low blow.

  Jill Taylor : It could get lower.

• Tim Taylor : I'll buy a garage and start a classic car shop.

  Jill Taylor : You can't start a business from scratch. There's gonna be experts out there that have been doing it for years. It could take forever to turn a profit or, you know, you could just be a complete failure right out of the box.

  Tim Taylor : You're gonna make a great therapist.

• Tim Taylor : Jill, you're not gonna believe this. Sparky found a vacant spot in Woodridge that would be perfect for a classic car showroom.

  Jill Taylor : Well, I have another location in mind. How about opening a shop in Indiana?

  Tim Taylor : [chuckles]  Indiana wants me. Lord, I can't go back there.

• Tim Taylor : [to Jill]  You're serious about moving to Indiana?

  Jill Taylor : Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean, I want to consider it.

  Tim Taylor : What are they offering you? Ballpark.

  Jill Taylor : Well, it... it's not much, but there's potential for more later.

  Tim Taylor : Honey, honey. We're not moving to Indiana based on potential, okay?

  Jill Taylor : Well, you're not even gonna discuss this?

  Tim Taylor : What's to discuss? We live here. I mean, my mom is here, my brothers are here. My mechanics are here.

  Jill Taylor : So we're just gonna throw my career out the door because you don't want a stranger to change your oil?

  Tim Taylor : Give me some credit! There's more to it than that! How am I gonna follow the Lions, the Red Wings, the Pistons?

  Jill Taylor : Buy a paper!

  Tim Taylor : I don't want to read!

• Jill Taylor : So, have a great Tool Time grande finale.

  Tim Taylor : It's gonna be really emotional.

  Jill Taylor : You have enough Kleenex?

  Tim Taylor : If not, I'm sure we have extra gauze.