House M.D. (TV Series)

Babies & Bathwater (2005)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : She has gone from the 25th weight percentile to the 3rd in one month. Now I'm not a baby expert, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to shrink.

• Dr. James Wilson : I've got no kids. My marriage sucks. I only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid screwed up friendship and neither mattered enough for you to give one lousy speech!

  Dr. Gregory House : They mattered.

• Dr. Gregory House : [Chase and Foreman find an AWOL House napping on an exam table]  Sorry. Up late... internet porn.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : The nurses were concerned and they called me. There was evidence of abuse; you took a big legal risk by not calling Social Services.

  Dr. Gregory House : Those parents were not abusive, they're idiots.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Oh, well that's certainly a relief.

• Dr. Eric Foreman : [to House]  Hiding because Vogler's looking for you. That's just pathetic.

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't like loud, angry giants threatening me with violence. How is that pathetic?

• Dr. Gregory House : [to Vogler]  There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you. Uh, listen, you said I had to cut one of my people if I didn't give that speech about your drug, and in fairness to your point of view, my speech really wasn't the one you had in mind, so I've cut Cameron. Now we're all squared away, right?

  Edward Vogler : In the morning, I expect you in my office with your letter of resignation and plans for a public apology otherwise, I'll destroy you.

  Dr. Gregory House : [House looks a bit shocked as Vogler walks away]  So that's a "no" on us being squared away.

• Dr. Gregory House : [about a couple's baby]  She's doing better.

  Rachel Kaplan : Oh, thank God.

  Dr. Gregory House : Technically, Alexander Fleming. He developed antibiotics.

• Joel Kaplan : [to House about their baby]  We're good parents. We fed her whenever she was hungry.

  Rachel Kaplan : Big meals. We had no idea that diet was so bad for her.

  Joel Kaplan : The nutritionist said it had everything she needed!

  Dr. Gregory House : The kid who stacks the free-range grapefruit in your health food store is not a nutritionist.

• Dr. James Wilson : I got sacked.

  Dr. Gregory House : Did you make a pass at Cuddy? Told you. She only has thighs for me.

• Dr. Gregory House : [after Vogler prevents House's patient from undergoing surgery]  Hey! You're killing her!

  Edward Vogler : Really? See, I thought you were the one trying to ram her into a drug trial 5 minutes after surgery...

  Dr. Gregory House : She knows the risks, she was fully informed...

  Edward Vogler : Well, the guy running the study sure wasn't.

  Dr. Gregory House : Not his life, not his call!

  Edward Vogler : His study, his call!

  [At this point, Cuddy comes out of the clinic] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Right, so she kicks off, his number look bad.

  Edward Vogler : The numbers look bad, the study looks bad!

  Dr. Gregory House : Which would cost you money!

  Edward Vogler : And keep a life-saving protocol off the market!

  Dr. Gregory House : One person, one blip in the data!

  Edward Vogler : You ever heard of the FDA? They eat blips for breakfast! One person should never endanger thousands!

  Dr. Gregory House : Well, thank God you were here to save all those lives!

  [Vogler pauses, breathes, laughs and shakes his finger at House] 

  Edward Vogler : The board's meeting again this evening. Why don't you settle down? Play some Game Boy. Why don't you watch your soap? I hear they're firing the handsome doctor today, boy, that should be a good one.

  [walks off; House glares at Cuddy before he leaves] 

• Naomi Randolph : I'm willing to die to protect my husband.

  Dr. Gregory House : Because it's what you want. Your husband wants you to live.

  Naomi Randolph : Well, he doesn't understand...

  Dr. Gregory House : Oh, who the hell does? Tragedies happen. You think that turning yourself into a disposable incubator for a few weeks is going to protect your baby from all the crap in this world, go ahead. Die happy. I got no problems with people killing themselves, but don't think it makes you a hero.

• Dr. Gregory House : Too bad that Cameron quit. I could use an immunologist right now.