How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Duel (2005)

Cobie Smulders: Robin Scherbatsky

Quotes 

• Robin : You talked about who gets the apartment, right?

  Ted : Yeah, we've talked about it.

  [Flashback to Ted and Marshall playing video games in their apartment] 

  Marshall : So, when Lily and I get married, who's gonna get the apartment?

  Ted : Oh, that's a tough one. You know who I think could handle a problem like that?

  Marshall : Who?

  Ted : Future Ted and Future Marshall.

  Marshall : Totally. Let's let those guys handle it.

  Ted : [Back to Ted, Barney and Robin in bar]  Dammit Past Ted!

• Barney : [Robin is calling Barney on his date so he can fake an emergency and leave]  Hello?

  Robin : Hi there, sexy.

  Barney : Hello, Aunt Kathy, what's up?

  Robin : Oh, nothing. Just sitting here, thinking about you, hot stuff.

  Barney : An accident? Well, is Uncle Rudy gonna be OK?

  Robin : Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy.

  Barney : [Acting upset]  Oh God! Why did he think he could build his own helicopter?

  Robin : Come on, daddy, break me off a piece of that white chocolate.

  Barney : Well, if he needs a transplant, he can have mine. I'll be right there.

• Robin : For the record, your little "lemon law" is a symbol of everything that's wrong with our no-attention span society.

  Barney : No, wrong. Lemon law's awesome.

• Lily : [At the Chinese restaurant that was formally her apartment]  OK, a toast.

  [Everyone lifts their cup] 

  Lily : Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.

  Barney , Robin , Marshall , Ted : Here here. Cheers

  [Everyone clinks glasses] 

  Barney : And to the lemon law!

  Barney : [Barney lifts up his glass, no one joins him]  Self-clink.

  [Barney picks up another cup and clinks his two cups together] 

• Lily : I have to have my own place. It's an independence thing.

  Robin : When was the last time you were there?

  Lily : Three months ago

  [Robin laughs] 

  Lily : What? It's like fat pants. You hope you never have to use 'em but you're glad to know they're there.

• Robin : [At the hospital after Lily was stabbed]  Is she OK?

  Marshall : They're just patching her up. She's gonna be fine.

  Barney : So get this, I was on a date with this girl, Jackie.

  [Ted, Marshall and Robin give him a look] 

  Barney : What? You said she's fine. So, anyway, I was on date with this girl, Jackie...

  Barney : [At the bar]  Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie Ohhh.

  Jackie : Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to lemon law you.

  [Leaves] 

  Barney : [Back at the hospital]  It's out there, it's a thing. The lemon law is a thing. Damn, I should have called it Barney's law.

• Robin : [Eating at a Futuristic themed restaurant]  It's a nice place. It's good to know the future has ribs.

  Kevin : In the future food will most likely be served in gel-cap form. Plus cows will probably have died out by then... or be our leaders.