How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Zip, Zip, Zip (2006)
Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson
Photos
Quotes
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Barney : Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is seventeen years, eleven months old.
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Robin Scherbatsky : You and me? That's insane. If you even thought about it for one second...
Barney : But I have thought about it-for three seconds-and it makes a lot of sense. We both think the marriage/commitment thing's a drag. We both want something casual and fun. And we clearly get along really well.
Robin Scherbatsky : Wow, that actually did make a lot of sense.
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Barney : Slut would have been better, but I'll settle for bro. Especially now that Ted's with Victoria and can't drink. Because he's pregnant. Cause he's the girl.
Robin Scherbatsky : Oh, come on, Ted can't be pregnant. You need to have sex to get pregnant.
Barney : What up! Freeze frame high five!
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Robin Scherbatsky : [after Barney discovers that Robin likes Ted] You're not gonna tell him, are you?
Barney : No. That's the bro code. A bro doesn't tell a mutual bro that a third bro has a crush on him. Just like the third bro doesn't tell the mutual bro that the original bro went bare pickle in front of her. It's quid pro bro.
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Barney : [At the bar] Hundred dollars says when you turn around, I say "wow."
Robin Scherbatsky : Barney, this is the third time you've hit on me by accident.
Barney : It's one of the many risks of the blind approach. It's usually a two-man operation where Ted signals that the target is hot. But Ted's too busy being in a lesbian relationship.
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Robin Scherbatsky : You know, Barney, I had a surprisingly good time bro-ing out tonight.
Barney : Well, you make a good bro. You're a better Ted than Ted. Hey, in fact, you have just earned yourself an invite to Marshall's bachelor party. And you don't even have to come out of the cake.
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Barney : [to Robin] You suited-up!
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Robin Scherbatsky : I hope you're ready for some hardcore battleship.
Barney : Hardcore - that's the only way I play.
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Robin Scherbatsky : [Barney undresses in front of her] What the hell are you doing?
Barney : I'm birthday-suiting-up!
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Robin Scherbatsky : [Playing laser tag] I'll lay down some cover fire, you make a run for it.
Barney : Leave no man behind. Either we all get out of here, or no-one does.
Robin Scherbatsky : But I...
Barney : Don't be a hero Scherbatsky.
Robin Scherbatsky : See you on the other side.