- Ethel Mertz: Fred, I've got a confession to make to you.
- Fred Mertz: What is it, Honeybunch?
- Ethel Mertz: You remember when we were married, I said I was 18? I was 19.
- Fred Mertz: I've got something to tell you, too. You were 24.
- Fred Mertz: [Fred realizes that he sent the band to Locarno by mistake, instead of Lucerne] I'm not gonna hang around here and explain this to Ricky... He'll punch me right in the nose.
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, he will not punch you in the nose. Now listen, all the times Ricky's been mad at me, he never once struck me.
- Fred Mertz: Well, you're bigger than I am.
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, don't let that Latin temperament scare you. Ricky's bark is worse than his bite.
- Fred Mertz: Don't tell me he bites, too.
- Lucy Ricardo: [to Ricky] How can you think about a stale show when we're all about to be turned into human popsicles?
- Ricky Ricardo: Well don't pick on me. You were the one who slammed the door.
- Ethel Mertz: Yes, and you were also the one who sneezed.
- Fred Mertz: Yeah, and you were ALSO the one that had the hot idea about going mountain climbing.
- Lucy Ricardo: All right, so I did a few wrong things. I wasn't the only one. We wouldn't be here in the first place if Fred hadn't bungled and sent the band to the wrong place.
- Ricky Ricardo: Yeah.
- Ethel Mertz: [to Fred] She's right. This is all your fault.
- Fred Mertz: Is that so?
- Ethel Mertz: Oh, what a dumb-bunny trick!
- Fred Mertz: It's your fault. You're the one that sat on my glasses!
- Ethel Mertz: MY fault?
- Fred Mertz: Yes!
- Lucy Ricardo: Well, actually the whole thing is Ricky's fault.
- Ricky Ricardo: MY fault?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yes. If you hadn't left Cuba and come to America, we wouldn't have gotten married and we wouldn't be in Switzerland in the first place!
- Lucy Ricardo: [taking in the view from the Mertz hotel room in Switzerland] Isn't that the greatest sight you've ever seen? Imagine having an Alp right outside your window.
- Ethel Mertz: Oh, Lucy, it's all so beautiful it leaves me absolutely speechless.
- Fred Mertz: Yeah, why'd you have to louse it up, Lucy. That's the first time she's stopped talking since we've been married.
- Ethel Mertz: Ohhhhh, Fred, you haven't even looked out the window. Haven't you any appreciation for beauty?
- Fred Mertz: What are you doin', Ethel, fishin' for insults?