- Lucy Ricardo: We're depending on you to be our guide in Germany. Have you been studying your German?
- Fred Mertz: Jawohl, Fräulein.
- Lucy Ricardo: Hey, that's wonderful.
- Fred Mertz: Geben, uh, sie mie, uh, ein Stein Würzburger.
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, great! What does that mean?
- Ethel Mertz: What do you think it means? Gimme a glass of beer.
- Lucy Ricardo: Is that all he's learned?
- Ethel Mertz: Nope. He's learned how to order nine different kinds of beer. Oh, we're gonna have an interesting time in Germany.
- Passport Clerk: [the clerk makes it clear he won't wait for Lucy to arrive to identify Ethel for her passport] This office closes at 5:00, if I have to eject you forcibly.
- Ethel Mertz: You just try it. I'm a tax-paying citizen. I'll report you to Washington, and then you'll see how long you hold this job.
- Passport Clerk: This is a civil-service job. If you want to get me fired, you'll have to wait 'til I die.
- Fred Mertz: [last line in the episode, Fred is talking to the Clerk] Hey, you can go now.
- [puts the plug of the clock into the socket]
- Fred Mertz: [seeing their passport pictures for the first time] Let me see yours, Hon. Hey, that's pretty good of you.
- Ethel Mertz: That's you!
- Fred Mertz: [Ethel and Lucy get their pictures, and scream together] Let me see that one of you. Hey, that looks more like me than the one of me does!
- Ethel Mertz: You wanna trade?
- Ethel Mertz: You'd think with your own photographer and 50 different poses a piece, we would've gotten at least one good picture.
- Lucy Ricardo: I just don't understand it. This is the same photographer that took our wedding pictures 15 years ago and we looked great. Well I guess they're just not making cameras like they used to.
- Ethel Mertz: Hey, I just had a horrible thought.
- Lucy Ricardo: What?
- Ethel Mertz: Maybe we really look like this.
- Lucy Ricardo: Bite your tongue.
- Ricky Ricardo: [Fred is seasick so Ricky suggests seasickness pills] What have you got to lose.
- Fred Mertz: Don't ask me that right now.
- Passport Clerk: Passport photo.
- Ethel Mertz: Yes sir... now don't laugh.
- Passport Clerk: Madam, I've been looking at passport photos all my life. Never one that has made me hee hee hee hee ho ho ho ho ho ho.