- Dr. David Bruce Banner: These kids don't look old enough to drive.
- Al: Good thing too, with all the drinking they do.
- D.J.: Alright, that was Louie and his lady. That's right, our own king and queen. And come friday night they'll be struttin' they're stuff, talking their trash and if we get lucky, they may be spending some cash. That's right, once again they will prove that Pandemonium reigns supreme.
- Louie: You know there's a ten thousand dollar reward for that green thing? Ten thousand dollars! That makes the dance contest money look like busfare.
- Jack McGee: Alice, I think that I can help you remember...
- Alice Morrow: Get out.
- Jack McGee: Alright, but I wasn't able to stop having nightmares about the Hulk until I was able to talk to somebody.
- D.J.: All right, let's get into the groove. Cause it's what's in the groove that counts. And remember my slogan: shake it, but don't break it. And if you can't shake it, then fake it.
- Ernie: If I get busted, Philbin, I'm taking you with me.
- Art Philbin: Ernie... a grand jury indictment for accepting bribes will hurt a lot more than anything you can threaten me with.
- Joan Roberts: Different strokes. We each need to find the reasons we drink, and deal with it. What's your reason, Alice?
- Alice Morrow: I like it.
- Bernard: That's bull.
- Sarah: A real cop out.
- Ernie: Dammit! You were both seen there.
- Dr. David Bruce Banner: You're wrong.
- Ernie: I've got too much to lose to be wrong, funny man.
- Dr. David Bruce Banner: Now listen to me, you are wrong. Yes, it's true, we were there. But she was seeing a counselor. Alice has a drinking problem.
- Al: She's going to have more than a drinking problem.