- Jack Benny: [Discussion of the possibility of Jack playing the part of a dog] Now, what kind of a dog would I be? A Saint Bernard, a Chihuahua, a Pekingese?
- Don Wilson: What difference does it make what kind of dog, Jack?
- Jack Benny: Well, I doubt that I could be an Irish Setter!
- Dennis Day: I could teach you to bark with a brogue. Arf, begorrah!
- Bank Teller: [When Jack announces that he wants to withdraw ten thousand dollars] Take out?
- Banker - Mr. Harris: Take out?
- Banker: Take out? Out?
- Jack Benny: [Telephones Dennis for the second time] Dennis, this is Jack again.
- Dennis Day: Oh, hello, Mr. Benny! Say, here's a funny thing. I just had a dream that you were kidnapped and needed ten thousand dollars. I gotta go back to sleep and see how it turns out!
- [Hangs up on Jack]
- Jack Benny: George,
- [Winks several times, trying to let George know he needs help]
- George Burns: Jack, if you want to keep getting away with that 39 year bit, you'd better get rid of that nervous twitch!
- George Burns: [after Jack sings, "I need your help", but George doesn't understand] "I need your help, I need your help." Doesn't stand a chance, it's pathetic!
- Bank Teller: [Jack enters bank and sees the counters filled with fruits and vegetables] Oh, hello, Mr. Benny, may I help you?
- Jack Benny: Eh, what's all this with the apples, oranges, pineapples and everything?
- Bank Teller: Well, you see, Mr. Benny, when you drew out ten thousand dollars, it caused a run on the bank, so we had to go into a new business!
- Jack Benny: [after finding out the bank is now a fruits and vegetables store] Well, alright, I'll take, uh, that grapefruit looks good, give me about three of those.
- Bank Teller: Oh, it's lovely!
- Jack Benny: Grapefruit, uh, oh, and these tomatoes are nice and big, give me two of those. Uh, what else do I want? Oh, maybe a bunch of these grapes.
- Bank Teller: Oh, yes, they're beautiful!
- Jack Benny: Uh, alright, that'll be it. No, wait a minute, I don't like these kind, uh, take out the grapes!
- Bank Teller: Take out?
- Banker - Mr. Harris: Take out?
- Banker: Take out? Out?
- Kidnapper AKA Florence Nightengale: [When Jack asks the kidnapper who they are] I'm Florence Nightengale, that's Dick Tracy and that's J. Edgar Hoover!