Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

The Devil Made Me Do It (2003)

Joe Mantegna: Will Girardi

Quotes 

• Helen Girardi : I can't believe you're not allowed to shoot an armed robber breaking into your home.

  Will Girardi : Well, honey, you're from the South.

• Will Girardi : I'm afraid I'm not turning out to be a very good chief of police.

  Helen Girardi : Hmm.

  Will Girardi : I don't know if I almost... did the right thing for the wrong reason today or the wrong thing for the right reason, or both, or... something in between. When I shot that bank robber... when I killed him...

  Helen Girardi : The kids were bound to find that out someday.

  Will Girardi : It was a righteous shooting, Helen. I mean... I'm sorry I killed a man - I really am - but I don't doubt that it was necessary, that I had no other options. I miss that clarity. Everything in this job is so... murky with politics.

  Helen Girardi : Hey. I love you, and if there's a problem with your job, then the fault does not lie with you. I'm as certain about that as you are about... shooting bad men.

• D.A. Gabe Fellowes : The point was *not* to take Allan Burns to trial.

  Will Girardi : The point is to figure out what really happened that evening.

• Mayor Albert Dunbar : The people have spoken. Allan Burns is a hero. Gabe has informed you of my wishes in this matter?

  Will Girardi : Oh, yes, sir. He's very good at that.

  Mayor Albert Dunbar : Then why didn't you behave accordingly?

  Will Girardi : [considering his answer]  There's a problem in this town.

  Mayor Albert Dunbar : Enlighten me.

  Will Girardi : You like to handle everything through back channels. You want to decide this case here or in an office or on the pages of a newspaper instead of in a jury room. You lack faith in the system. Now, either it's because you don't give people credit for being able to deal with complicated matters, or it's because confusion works for you.

  Mayor Albert Dunbar : All right. Then let me be very clear. At the end of your probation period, your employment will be terminated.

  Will Girardi : I'm pretty sure the police commission will have something to say about that.

  Mayor Albert Dunbar : Oh, I don't know about that, Girardi. As you say, I don't give a damn about the system. You have about six months to find another job.

• Joan Girardi : You think I'm happy? Adam hates me. He's never gonna talk to me again. Did you see the way people were looking at me in the hall? They think I'm insane!

  Will Girardi : What did you think would happen? What possible justification could you have for going berserk?

  Helen Girardi : She wanted to keep her boyfriend in school.

  Joan Girardi : What? Mom, no, Adam is not my boyfriend. I didn't want to wreck his sculpture. I... I left it too late, and I couldn't think of another way to-to keep him from quitting school. I... Adam can't quit school! In case you haven't noticed, he's kind of weird, and if he just sits at home and works on his weirdo art, he's just... Mr. Price said "What are you going to do?", s-so I...

  Will Girardi : Smashed his artwork with a chair?

  Joan Girardi : What else could I do?

  Helen Girardi : Oh... say... talk to the buyer, talk to Adam, uh, talk to Adam's father. Believe it or not, I have some influence with him, too. Honey, there are lots of other things that you could do before... destroying his best work.

  Will Girardi : Destruction is not a good option.

  Joan Girardi : [realizing what God meant]  I had a failure of imagination.

  Will Girardi : Well, that's putting it kindly.

• Lt. Det. Toni Williams : Meet Mr. Ricky Clark. Down twice, felony armed robbery.

  Will Girardi : He the bad guy in this?

  Lt. Det. Toni Williams : [showing him an evidence baggie with a gun inside]  That's what I'm thinking. Allan Burns, husband and father. Clark was burglarizing the home. When Burns confronted him, shots were exchanged, death ensued on the front lawn.

  Will Girardi : Get him out of those cuffs. Let him talk to his wife and kids.

  Lt. Det. Toni Williams : Standard operating procedure is to...

  Will Girardi : Guy protects his family, we don't treat him like a criminal.

  Lt. Det. Toni Williams : A man died, chief. We got to take the shooter into custody pending investigation.

  Will Girardi : We do it by the book, Detective, but the nice version of the book, okay?

• Joan Girardi : Is it ever okay to break the law?

  Will Girardi : Somebody kills somebody, it's serious, no matter what the circumstances.

  Joan Girardi : Who said anything about killing?

  Will Girardi : Wh-what are we talking about?

  Helen Girardi : Not allowed to ask.

• Kevin Girardi : I'm home! What's to eat?

  Will Girardi : Hey, how was work?

  Kevin Girardi : Let's just say I know a lot more about Ashton Kutch-er than I really want to.

  Joan Girardi , Helen Girardi : [correcting him]  Kutcher!

• Joan Girardi : Dad, is it ever okay to do something wrong for a good reason?

  Kevin Girardi : Are you talking about Allan Burns?

  Joan Girardi : Who's Allan Burns?

  Luke Girardi : Guy who shot the robber.

  Joan Girardi : Was that illegal?

  Will Girardi : Technically.

• Luke Girardi : Dad blew away a bank robber. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.

  Will Girardi : No, it's not. It's not cool to take another person's life in any situation. It might be unavoidable, but it's not cool. I'm not proud of it. I see that man's face every day. It's not something I boast about, and it's not something I want my children boasting about.

• Will Girardi : Helen, you aren't going to defend what she did, are you?

  Helen Girardi : We raised Joan to do what she thought was right. She did what she did to help another human being, despite the consequences.

  Will Girardi : You want me to be proud of her?

  Helen Girardi : No, it was stupid, but... she is only sixteen, and her intentions were good. And, um... she had a failure of imagination.

• D.A. Gabe Fellowes : I do not want to lay charges against this man.

  Will Girardi : I agree.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : Middle of the night, this hard-working, solid citizen is in bed with the wife - his own wife - with his children asleep down the hallway.

  Will Girardi : It's the D.A.'s decision whether or not to lay charges. Frankly, I'd be happy if you didn't.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : He hears glass break downstairs. He fetches his properly licensed and registered weapon from the gun safe and loads it with ammunition he keeps in a separate locked box. He surprises an armed intruder.

  Will Girardi : Shots are exchanged. The good guy is left standing, the bad guy dies, and choirs of angels sing in joy. What do you want from me?

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : I want you to say he's a hero, that this is not a murder case.

  Will Girardi : He is a hero.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : I want you to say it to the press. Leave figure skaters out of it.

  Will Girardi : That would not be smart.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : Leaving out figure skaters?

  Will Girardi : A police chief should not comment on the relative guilt or innocence of a suspect before the investigation is complete.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : So complete the investigation and then tell the press he's a hero.

  Will Girardi : That is my plan.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : You're not fighting me on this?

  Will Girardi : No. We're in complete agreement.

  D.A. Gabe Fellowes : I find that disconcerting.