Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

A Divorce to Remember (1999)

Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro

Quotes 

• Elliot DiMauro : Hey, Dennis. You made the tabloids.

  Dennis Finch : Let me see.

  Elliot DiMauro : [reading]  "Is model Adrienne Barker wilder than we thought? The leggy beauty was spoted on the beaches of Tahiti with a topless, blond gal pal."

  Dennis Finch : Buying that Speedo was a mistake.

• Maya Gallo : You may not take this seriously, but I haven't been asked out in two weeks.

  Elliot DiMauro : Have you even been asked?

  Maya Gallo : Obviously, I must be giving out some sort of vibe.

• Jack Gallo : Hey, Elliot. Whatcha looking for?

  Elliot DiMauro : Back issue.

  Jack Gallo : Which one?

  Elliot DiMauro : It... it had a health article in it.

  Jack Gallo : Can I help you?

  Elliot DiMauro : I found it.

  Jack Gallo : Oh, July. Wasn't that the one with the piece on impotence? Hey, Maya! Didn't you write that piece on impotence?

  [awkward pause] 

  Jack Gallo : What's that? Line two?

  [leaves] 

  Elliot DiMauro : I'm not a machine!

• Elliot DiMauro : Do I look racked with guilt? No.

  [cut to Elliot in bed with his date] 

  Co-star : Has this ever happened before?

  Elliot DiMauro : No!

• Elliot DiMauro : Look, with all due respect to your religion...

  Larry Fenwick : Oh, it's not my religion. I'm just a hired gun. But be careful, there are listening devices on the walls. I'm just kidding. I'm just lightening the mood.