Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

College or Collagen (1998)

Wendie Malick: Nina Van Horn

Quotes 

• Nina Van Horn : I have a little something I've been working on my spare time at the office. It's called "What Lies Before Me". "A stapler. A pencil. Finger drumming on a desk. A vodka martini. Then nothing... nothing... nothing. Blinding headache!"

• Nina Van Horn : I wouldn't do that if I were you. I have very pointy elbows, and I'm not afraid to use them.

• Dennis Finch : Nina, I formally apologize for ruining our company photo by copying your bottom.

  Nina Van Horn : And?

  Dennis Finch : And for yelling "Who wants mangos, two for a buck?"

  Nina Van Horn : And?

  Dennis Finch : And for what I have planned for tomorrow.

  Nina Van Horn : Well, as long as you've learned your lesson.

• Nina Van Horn : Let me give you a little tip. If you're in a foreign country and you have trouble with the law, just remember these three little words: not my baggie.

• Nina Van Horn : That girl is wasting her youth in a place like college. She's going to be a supermodel. She reminds me of me when I was that age.

  Maya Gallo : No, she can't remind you of you at that age, because she reminds me of me at that age, and me at that age was nothing like you at that age!

• Maya Gallo : She's a talented writer, not some empty-headed mannequin!

  Nina Van Horn : And what's that supposed to mean?

  Maya Gallo : Exactly!

• Nina Van Horn : I'm sorry I called you big-headed and snobby.

  Maya Gallo : You didn't say that.

  Nina Van Horn : No, it's in my other poem, "Big-Headed and Snobby."

• Maya Gallo : You know, it's not too late for us. I could take a year off, go hiking through Europe, live in hostels and wait tables to get by.

  Nina Van Horn : And I could go to college, do homework and take exams, and read, read, read.

  [pause] 

  Maya Gallo : Seems like a hassle.

  Nina Van Horn : Screw it.

• Nina Van Horn : [on phone]  I'm telling you, you haven't seen a look like this since a certain raven-haired beauty. Me. Nina? Van Horn? No, I'm not dead!

• Nina Van Horn : Well, she's already learned the Nutrcracker.