- Elliot DiMauro: So Jack just stood there, saying nothing?
- Kevin Liotta: He looked angry, like how an owl looks when you keep it in the bath for too long.
- Jack Gallo: I wonder if they have soft-shelled crabs yet? You know what I like about them?
- Maya Gallo: Eating them make you feel powerful like a giant squid.
- Jack Gallo: Shark, Maya. I'm a giant shark.
- Jack Gallo: You're fired.
- Dennis Finch: You can't just fire me. You have to give me some warning.
- Jack Gallo: You're right. Look out, you're fired.
- Jack Gallo: Look at all these gifts.
- Maya Gallo: [picks a plush bee and reads card] "Let's bee friends."
- [picks a plush bear]
- Maya Gallo: "I can't bear to be apart."
- [picks up a plush tiger]
- Maya Gallo: "I miss you, and I'm not lion."
- Jack Gallo: That one doesn't even make sense. It's a tiger.
- Maya Gallo: Which is "not lion".
- Posse Member: Oh, Dogg. Are you crying, man?
- Snoop Dogg: No, I ain't crying. I miss that little blond fool.
- Jack Gallo: Whose pants are these?
- Allie, Maya's stepmother and former classmate: Boop! Got your nose!
- Jack Gallo: No, Allie. That's not gonna work this time. You haven't got my nose.
- Ms. Picklesbee: And here's the SkyMall magazine you requested.
- Jack Gallo: Perfect. Let's see if this stuff is as tempting on the ground.
- Nina Van Horn: Look at her standing there like a shorn ape. You know what I'd like to do? I'd offer her a makeover, then I'd cover her in glue and bees. Angry, stinging bees.
- Snoop Dogg: I'm going next door to buy a Bentley. I forgot where I parked the last one.
- Dennis Finch: All right. Get a receipt this time.
- Dennis Finch: I'm going on a world-wide tour, first class everything. Hotels, food, fly women, water parks.
- Jack Gallo: Water parks?
- Dennis Finch: Snoop and the gang love to beat the heat.
- Snoop Dogg: Yeah, the got a slide in Singapore that does a loopity-loop.
- Dennis Finch: I hate to be a nag, Snoop, but you're supposed to be on stage in... Whoa, long time ago!