- Maya Gallo: Sorry I'm late. Did I miss the meeting?
- Dennis Finch: Yes, but don't worry, I covered for you. I was all, "No! I disagree! Dad!"
- Nina Van Horn: Well, well, well. Look what the incredibly late cat dragged in.
- Maya Gallo: I slept over at Elliot's place again and had to run back home to change.
- Nina Van Horn: Dear, may I suggest going back during lunch and giving it one more try?
- Maya Gallo: You gave me this.
- Nina Van Horn: I was incredibly mad at you that Christmas.
- Nina Van Horn: You know, you're gonna catch a lot of flack for this little hint of nudity on the cover.
- Jack Gallo: Hey, I got where I am by being bold, and I apologize to no one.
- Nina Van Horn: Have you told Maya yet?
- Jack Gallo: She'll see it on the newsstand, I'll tell her it was a mistake.
- Jack Gallo: The only reason I talked to you twenty years ago was because you were next to the pretzels.
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, yeah? Well, the only reason I hung out with you was because I thought you were Elliot Gould.
- Dennis Finch: So, did she mention a guy named Dennis Finch?
- Gwen: Yeah. She said that he's a conniving little perv.
- Dennis Finch: That guy makes me so mad!
- Dennis Finch: Is Maya's apartment rent controlled?
- Nina Van Horn: I think so.
- Dennis Finch: [pushes fingertips together] Interesting.
- Nina Van Horn: Are you planning something devious?
- Dennis Finch: Of course. Why else would I be doing this?
- Elliot DiMauro: You weren't that shy when you were licking the back of my neck on the subway.
- Maya Gallo: I didn't lick your neck on the subway.
- Elliot DiMauro: When I come out of the shower, you're singing me a song.
- Elliot DiMauro: I thought this place didn't even exist.
- Maya Gallo: Oh, yeah? It doesn't exist? If it doesn't exist, then where am I dancing? Where am I dancing!
- Elliot DiMauro: Is that how you dance?
- Dennis Finch: Oh, my God, I did it. I am the savior of the House of Finch! I am the Savior of the House of Finch! I am the King of the Finchiest House of Finch that ever there was!
- Gwen: You're Dennis Finch?
- Dennis Finch: Uh... I love you?
- Gwen: Really?
- Dennis Finch: Come 'ere, baby!