Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo

Quotes 

• Maya Gallo : I had no idea finding an assistant was so hard.

  Jack Gallo : Be patient. The right one will never let you down. It may even become your best friend.

  Maya Gallo : Dad, "it" is standing right there.

  Jack Gallo : Oh, right. Sorry.

  Dennis Finch : That's all right. "It" just got goosebumps.

• Nina Van Horn : I can put an end to this discussion if you agree to hire a man. This man.

  [pulls out a photo] 

  Nina Van Horn : His name is Nacho. He works at my dry cleaners, but he wants to be an actor.

  Maya Gallo : [gives photo back]  Just let me know when Amy comes in.

  Nina Van Horn : Hey, he can lick his own eyebrows!

  Dennis Finch : Here, let me see that. Hey, I've seen this dude in a movie. A movie with all dudes.

  Nina Van Horn : And why were you watching it?

  Dennis Finch : I test myself once a year. I was A-OK.

• Nina Van Horn : Blush magazine is like an aquarium, where fish get together to put out a magazine.

  Maya Gallo : Listen, I have some stuff to do...

  Nina Van Horn : Just hear me out. Now in this aquarium, there are many, many different kinds of fish. There's the little goldfish like Finch; The huge octopus, which is Jack; the beautiful starfish, that would be yours truly; and the crusty barnacle, such as yourself.

  Maya Gallo : What?

  Nina Van Horn : Okay, you can be a sand worm. The point is, you bringing Amy was like bringing a black widow into our little aquarium.

  Maya Gallo : That's not even a fish!

  Nina Van Horn : Exactly! So what is she doing here?

• Nina Van Horn : Fire her, before she fires you.

  Maya Gallo : I don't think she can do that.

  Nina Van Horn : Maya, she threw her soda can in the trash. Not the recycling bin, the trash.

  Maya Gallo : She is toast!

• Maya Gallo : I'd like to give you a parting gift, it's called advice. At your next job, stay quiet, do your work, and keep the balloons under the big top.

• Maya Gallo : I remember my first boss. Mr. Finkle. He was quite a boss. We used to call him Mr. Stinkle.

  Amy Watson : Did he smell bad?

  Maya Gallo : No, that was the thing. He was completely odorless.