- Jack Gallo: Our meetings have been a disorganized mess lately. So last night I wrote down ideas on how to improve them.
- Dennis Finch: Let me see. All it says here is the word "Ideas" and drawings of fighter planes blowing up Godzilla.
- Jack Gallo: Not bad, eh?
- Nina Van Horn: Sorry I'm late. I just had the most horrific experience.
- Dennis Finch: Oh, did Dorothy's house fall on you?
- Nina Van Horn: Back off, Munchkin.
- Jack Gallo: Will everyone please focus?
- Dennis Finch: Jack, your new Slushie machine is here.
- Jack Gallo: Meeting adjourned.
- Nina Van Horn: Dennis, is it worth cutting off a toe to fit into a really great pair of shoes?
- Dennis Finch: They make your legs look great.
- Nina Van Horn: Good bye, little piggy.
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, my God! Carol Flankenship. Where can I hide?
- Dennis Finch: Quick, behind this pencil.
- Nina Van Horn: That woman is so obnoxious. Every other word out of her mouth is "delicious". "Oh, that coat looks delicious!" "Oh, that movie was delicious!" "Oh, look at the moon. Isn't it delicious?"
- Elliot DiMauro: [impatient] Where the hell is the Chinese food? Sorry. I'm starving. Please stop saying delicious.
- Maya Gallo: Get me a meeting with him. Today, if possible.
- Dennis Finch: That's not my job.
- Maya Gallo: What is your job?
- Dennis Finch: No one knows.
- Kurt: What kind of freak writes this?
- Dennis Finch: He's kind of a loner. Rides from town to town on a Harley. Running from a crime he didn't commit, but taking time out to keep the ladies happy.
- Kurt: It's you, isn't it?
- Dennis Finch: Yes.
- Dennis Finch: You think I asked for this talent? I'ts a curse. You think Peter Parker wanted to be bitten by that radioactive spider?
- Kurt: No.
- Dennis Finch: That's right. But being a superhero, he did his duty. And by the way, that guy wore spandex, which is way gayer than anything I'm doing.
- Jack Gallo: You know, Elliot, the lesson here is, the world is like one big Slurpee.
- Elliot DiMauro: Why is that?
- Jack Gallo: Well, we're all made of the same stuff - water, ice, some syrup. But no matter which color we are - red, yellow, brown - we are all equally delightful.
- Elliot DiMauro: But blue is the best.
- Jack Gallo: Well, yeah, blue is the best.
- Carol Flankenship: By the way, your purse is delicious.
- Nina Van Horn: [angrily tries to force it down her throat] Why don't you just eat it, then?
- Dennis Finch: Thank God you could make it.
- Kurt: Make it fast. I'm getting ready for a deposition.
- Dennis Finch: Calm down, you're not a real lawyer, you're a professional victim.
- Kurt: I have three days to nail down the symptoms of rabies. I won't get a nickel unless I'm foaming like the Jersey shore.
- Maya Gallo: Nina, for the last time, I'm not a lesbian.
- Nina Van Horn: Yeah, right. I've seen the way you walk by, shaking your tush. I know that's for me. Well, sorry, toots, but my bus doesn't stop there.
- Kurt: Finch, you suck.
- Dennis Finch: You suck.
- Kurt: Well, guess what? My sister called and she said you have hands like a girl.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, well, she has boobs like a boy.
- Dennis Finch: If word of this got around where I work, the teasing will not stop, and believe me, I have it coming.