- Dennis Finch: I think what the gang is trying to say is that if you were a musical instrument, you would be the snoozeolin.
- Maya: What are you guys doing?
- Dennis Finch: We're pointing out women we'd like to sleep with.
- Elliot: Oh, I thought we were pointing out women we already slept with.
- Dennis Finch: I don't wanna play anymore.
- Nina: Hello, my dear, dear friends. Although your names elude me, your presence is no less important.
- Wally: Hello, and welcome to Wallyphone. If you are Maya and have a great excuse for blowing me off, press one. If you don't have an excuse, press two.
- Maya: Wally, I'm sorry.
- Wally: For a selection of excuses available in your area, press three.
- Maya: Please forgive me.
- Wally: You have selected begging for mercy.
- Wally: Nina Van Horn the supermodel? That's the Nina you've been bitching about? Oh, my God! In junior high, I would stare at her bikini poster every night, sometimes twice a night.
- Jack Gallo: There was this guy at the Times who hated my guts for no reason. Wait, I may have slept with his girlfriend. He used to take pot shots at me during editorial meetings. But did I hit back?
- Maya: No, you charmed him to your side.
- Jack Gallo: That's right. He became my biggest supporter. He even gave me five grand to start this magazine. You know what happened the day I was to pay him back? He dropped dead. Pure profit, Maya.
- Maya: So what, Nina? You're still young.
- Nina: Maybe for a senator. A model is over the hill at twenty-eight. What does that make me?
- Maya: A legend.
- Nina: No, no. Invisible. Twenty years ago, I couldn't walk into a restaurant without every man in the room wanting me. Now the only way I can get a reaction is by dressing like an extra from Shogun.
- Elliot: Hey, Jack, can I play with your laser pointer?
- Jack Gallo: No, I traded it in for a whistle that only birds can hear.
- [blows whistle]
- Jack Gallo: I don't know. I guess I'm a sucker for nature.
- [bird slams into window]
- Wally: Hello, and welcome to Wallyphone. If you are Maya Gallo and have an excuse for blowing me off, press one now.