Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Secretary's Day (1997)

Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maya Gallo : I once did a report on the dangers of plastic surgery, and do you know what the statistics say?

  Nina Van Horn : Yes, that nine out of ten men prefer women with big boobs.

  Elliot DiMauro : And the tenth guy preferred the other nine men.

• [Nina has on fake breasts] 

  Elliot DiMauro : Do you have a permit for those?

  Nina Van Horn : Don't you just love'em? They say, "Here I am!"

  Elliot DiMauro : Actually, they say, "Moo, I hope some frat guy doesn't tip me over."

• [Nina is looking at herself in the toaster] 

  Elliot DiMauro : That's a toaster, Nina. You'd know that if you ever ate anything.

  Nina Van Horn : I'm thinking of getting a face lift.

  Elliot DiMauro : Well, be sure you get a second opinion from the blender.

• Nina Van Horn : Maybe a boob job. Big breasts seem to be back in this season.

  Elliot DiMauro : Frankly, I can't understand why they ever went out.

• Dennis Finch : I'm not a secretary!

  Elliot DiMauro : I'm confused. Don't you file, and answer phones, and type letters?

  Dennis Finch : What's your point?

  Elliot DiMauro : You're not an astronaut.

• Nikki : How did you fell in?

  Dennis Finch : Well, as I told channels two, four and seven, I was saving a toddler who was perched on the rail.

  Elliot DiMauro : Really? My cousin works at the zoo. He said you were running from a peacock.

  Dennis Finch : A. I was jogging, B. your cousin's a liar, and C. some peacocks are poisonous.