Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Sewer! (1998)

Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo

Quotes 

• Nina Van Horn : Maya, your style is fabulous. What did you use on your hair?

  Maya Gallo : Raw sewage.

  Nina Van Horn : Boy, they really are running out of good names.

• Maya Gallo : Oh, it just occurred to me that I forgot to warn you about Elliot. He didn't try to hit on you, did he?

  Erin Simon : Yup.

  Maya Gallo : Unbelievable! I would've liked to have seen how you handled him.

  [Elliot walks in from the guest room, wearing a robe] 

  Maya Gallo : I take that back.

  Elliot DiMauro : Maya, mind if I use your robe?

  Maya Gallo : Not at all. Mind closing it?

• Jack Gallo : Some years ago I was in Chicago on business, and everyone is telling me about the ribs on this place called Twin Anchors. Well, I walked all over that damned city and didn't find it, so I stop at a little grocery store for directions, and I find this tiny old woman making tamales.

  Maya Gallo : Don't tell me, the best Mexican food you have ever eaten.

  Jack Gallo : Nope, I got food poisoning.

  Maya Gallo : Is there a point to this story?

  Jack Gallo : Yes. The delivery girl from the pharmacy next door had the finest bosoms I have ever seen. And this was back when bosoms were real, Maya.

• Nina Van Horn : But you have to come. I'm making my special punch.

  Maya Gallo : You mean vodka and food coloring?

  Nina Van Horn : Who told you?

• Maya Gallo : My contact says they're dumping tonight. You know how it is with sources.

  Erin Simon : Tell me about it. I had a midnight rendezvous with my contact in Lebanon. I'm five minutes late, his head comes rolling down the street like a soccer ball.

• Maya Gallo : So, what are you working on?

  Erin Simon : I've been uncovering human rights violations in Eastern Europe.

  Maya Gallo : Oh, I'm working on quite the hard-hitting piece myself.

  Elliot DiMauro : Maya, we need to fill a page. Write something to go with this butt shot.

  Maya Gallo : Not now, Elliot.

  Elliot DiMauro : If at all possible, try to avoid using the word "asstastic". We've already used it twice this issue.

• Elliot DiMauro : Hey, Maya. Mind if I use your toothbrush?

  Maya Gallo : Not at all. That's the one I use for grout.

• Mel : I once saw my dad wrestle an alligator. All I could do is stand there and watch in horror.

  Maya Gallo : Wow. Where was that?

  Mel : Right over there.

  Maya Gallo : That's where I had my sandwich.