Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Shaking Private Trainer (1999)

Neal McDonough: Craig

Quotes 

• Craig : Miss Van Horn, maybe later you and I could go out for a smoothie.

  Nina Van Horn : That's a colorful way of putting it, but the answer is no.

• Nina Van Horn : Is it because I won't go out with you? I would tell you why, but I don't really know myself. Huh... I'm complex.

  Craig : Oh, I am a failure. I have disgraced myself, the Navy, and the good Noodleman name.

  Nina Van Horn : Noodleman? That used to be my last name! Where are you from?

  Craig : Colby, Kansas.

  Nina Van Horn : Good God! Whose your pappy?

  Craig : Bud.

  Nina Van Horn : Holy smokes, we're cousins!

• Nina Van Horn : Sorry, Craig, but I'm not the only one who doesn't want to get sweaty with you. Why don't I want to get sweaty with you?

  Craig : Ma'am, that is a question I ask myself each and every night as I cry into my pillow like a sad, little boy.

• Craig : Oh, my Lord! My nipple's pierced! Where does that chain go?... Oh!