Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Softball (1999)

David Spade: Dennis Finch

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dennis Finch : I know you like to think of this as your team, but remember, this is my team. My team! I don't ask that you to love me, but I do demand your respect.

  [to pretty woman] 

  Dennis Finch : Scratch that. I ask you to love me.

• Glenn : I, for one, do not enjoy looking like a fool.

  Dennis Finch : You're gonna have to take that one up with God.

• Maya Gallo : I didn't know we had a softball team.

  Dennis Finch : Yeah, we have our annual game against Cosmo this Saturday.

  Maya Gallo : I don't remember a game last year.

  Dennis Finch : Well, it was called on account of a minor incident the year before. Nina provided protein drinks and we had to forfeit the game because we thought the world was being attacked by giant hummingbirds.

• Maya Gallo : Shouldn't we go practice?

  Dennis Finch : Not in this weather. There's something about my shape and chemical composition that makes me a human lighting rod.

  Maya Gallo : It's just rain! You're not going to melt!

  Nina Van Horn : Sure. That's what they told my best friend Binnie.

• Dennis Finch : Maya, I'm taking you out of the game.

  Maya Gallo : Yeah? You and how many Green Berets?

• Maya Gallo : What position do you play?

  Dennis Finch : Catcher. Also the manager. Because of the three P's: poise, patience, and psex appeal.

• Jack Gallo : Dennis, have you seen my Louisville Slugger?

  Dennis Finch : Don't you remember? You were swinging it around in your office and it flew out of your hands and out the window.

  Jack Gallo : Doesn't ring a bell.

  Dennis Finch : Oh, come on. It fell twenty-three stories, went through the roof of a Gypsy cab and gave that German tourist a deep thigh bruise.

  Jack Gallo : Oh, yeah. Master race my ass. That guy was crying like a baby.

• Dennis Finch : I just got off the phone with my contact from the National Weather Center.

  Elliot DiMauro : You mean the recording?

• Nina Van Horn : Hey, Maya. We're thinking on a nickname for you.

  Maya Gallo : I don't want a nickname. I wanna pitch.

  Elliot DiMauro : How about Swifty?

  Glenn : Rocket?

  Dennis Finch : Screamer?

  Nina Van Horn : Already taken.

• Elliot DiMauro : [thinking]  Springtime. Hope. Baseball. Through all our tribulant times, one thing never changes: baseball.

  Dennis Finch : Hey, Clueless Joe. Cup goes in front.

• Dennis Finch : Hey, new guy. Can you hit?

  Steve Garvey : Well, I was the National League MVP...

  Dennis Finch : Yeah, whatever. Grab a bat.