Justice League (TV Series)
Eclipsed (2003)
Brian Doyle-Murray: Artie Bauman
Quotes
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The Flash : Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack and your doughnuts are stale! I'm outta here, fast, fast, fast!
[he whooshes away, and the blast of wind knocks the director into the set, knocking it over]
Artie Bauman : Well, it looks like that's a wrap.
Snooty British Director : [climbing out] You owe us, bunkie. Full reimbursement plus studio costs. Expect to hear from our lawyers.
Artie Bauman : I can't afford another lawsuit. Unless...
[taking out his cell phone]
Artie Bauman : Connect me to Godfrey Studios. Reverse the charges.
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Artie Bauman : Listen, bunkie, you know you're my number-one guy. Talk to me. Artie Bauman is completely here for you. You say the word, we walk.
The Flash : Great. Let's go.
Artie Bauman : You can't. We already got paid, and I spent my 60%.
The Flash : Forget it. No one's asking the other guys to do this sort of thing.
Artie Bauman : That's 'cause they don't have what you have.
The Flash : What, my speed? My charm?
Artie Bauman : They don't have me as their agent. So tell 'em to call me, especially that big gal with the rope. Now let's make some magic.
Snooty British Director : Rolling, people, this is a take. And if it's not too inconvenient, this time with talent.
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The Flash : Come on, Artie, help me out. Where did Godfrey get that footage?
Artie Bauman : How should I know? A garage sale?
The Flash : But it makes me look like a total jerk.
Artie Bauman : Don't sweat it, kid. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
[turning to Diana]
Artie Bauman : And speaking of publicity, I can set you up for the swimsuit issue, cover guaranteed.
Wonder Woman : [grabbing him] You slimy little weasel. Do you think I can be bought and sold?
Artie Bauman : A tough negotiator. I like that!
Green Lantern : [hearing an explosion outside] It's the power plant.
Wonder Woman : This negotiation is over, Mr. Bauman.
Artie Bauman : If you change your mind, babe, I'm in the book!
