King of the Hill (TV Series)

Hilloween (1997)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Quotes 

• Junie Harper : The complacency of fools will destroy them, Proverbs.

  Hank : Get out of my house, Exodus!

• Boomhauer : Dang ol' Boo, man, yo.

• Peggy Hill : Uh, Luanne took Bobby to Junie Harper's house for an anti-halloween church party.

  Hank : [chokes]  I came very close to spitting out beer!

• Hank : Eat Wells. Sugar-Free Low-Fat Fun Bars. Peggy, that stuff isn't for trick-or-treaters, it's for diabetics.

• Hank : I'm gonna scare the pants off those kids, I tell ya what.

• Hank : Halloween costumes are supposed to be scary. How is a dalmatian scary?

  Bobby Hill : They can bite you.

  Peggy Hill : Mm-hmm and 9 times out of 10, they go right for the groin.

• Hank : You know, Bobby, I'm suddenly reminded of a Bible quote: "Do unto others."

• [Bobby is manipulated by Luanne to remember memories as evidence of Hank's sinister ways] 

  Hank : You're a regular Halloween hell-raiser, just like your old man!

  Hank : [back at Mega-lo-Mart]  Where are the vampires and monsters and ghosts?

  Hank : [Hank smiling deviously shoves a cracker with liver on it from Bobby's POV]  It's just liver! It's not going to kill you!

  [as Hank laughs maniacally, his face contorts into a demon] 

• [first lines; Hank is drawing a chalk line around Dale's body. Dale is still smoking] 

  Hank : Alright, Dale you can get up now.

  [sees where Dale's cigarette is outlined in chalk] 

  Hank : I don't know, it sorta looks like he died with his tongue sticking out.

  Dale : Let me try again. I can look deader.

• Hank : [angry that Junie Harper has shut down their haunted house at the school]  Boomhauer grab Hagatha, there only room for one witch in here.

• Hank : [looking over Halloween costumes]  Elmo? Aladdin? Jenny McCarthy? I don't even know what these things are.