- Luanne Platter: I just do yoga.
- Luanne Platter: I put my feet up behind my head, want me to show you?
- Hank Hill: AAAHHHH! Just keep your leg below your waist for God's sake.
- Bill Dauterive: You know what I just realized? Hank hasn't caught a fish.
- Hank: You lookin' to go for a swim, Bill?
- Ray: This fella never went to school. He grew up in the hills, but he wrote the book on homemade bait. 'Course it's just a bunch of scribbles 'cause he never went to school.
- Hank Hill: Dale, you giblet-head, if you were gonna cheat, why'd you buy a frozen bass?
- Dale Gribble: I had a coupon for it.
- Hank: We don't fish for the fish. 90% of what I like about this sport, and it is a sport, is sittin' in the boat for 5 hours doin' nuthin'. And the icing on the cake is when God smiles on you and you hook one. And when you're reeling it in, everything else falls away. You don't think about taxes, or traffic, or that pushy gal that's tryin' to get into The Citadel, or who's gonna take care of you when your mother and I are old and incapacitated. All there is is a man, a rod, a lake, and a fish.
- Judge: If I send you to prison, they're just gonna teach you how to be a better truck thief, so you're gonna spend the next 90 days in the cab of a pickup... an import
- [everyone in the courtroom gasps]