- [Carmen is making out with Shane]
- Carmen de la Pica Morales: Quiero lamberte hasta que te vengas en mi boca mil veces.
- Shane McCutcheon: Sorry, my Spanish is a little rusty. Could you be more specific?
- Carmen de la Pica Morales: It means: I want to lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times.
- Shane McCutcheon: Whoa.
- Jenny Schecter: [after shooting one of the rednecks with a taser gun] We're not fags, idiot! We're DYKES!
- Anna: Who does your hair?
- Shane McCutcheon: I do it myself.
- Anna: Well, some job you do to it. It's all tangled, stringy, when was the last time you washed it?
- [Anna takes out a brush and starts brushing Shane's hair]
- Anna: Here, I'll just patten it down. If you want me to make it a little more straight I'll...
- Shane McCutcheon: [interuptuing] NO! Do not... make it straight.
- Alice Pieszecki: [to a little kid at Angelica's birthday party] Hi there, who are you?
- Roland: I'm Roland. Are you the clown?
- Alice Pieszecki: I'm the birthday girl, Roland.
- [Alice looks around and spots all the toddlers at the party. It's clearly not her party]
- Alice Pieszecki: And yes, yes I'm the clown.
- Roland: [running off] Mommy, mommy, the clown's here!