- Hank Kingsley: I'm only smiling because audience is looking at me and I'm a professional.
- Larry Sanders: Nice talking to you.
- Stevie Grant: [pretending he's not listening on the phone] I'm losing you! I'm losing you! I lost you.
- Larry Sanders: Girlfriend?
- Stevie Grant: Car phone.
- Hank Kingsley: Did you or did you not have anything to do with that hatchet job on that commercial parody? I want... c'mon, the truth Phil.
- Phil: I did not initiate the change but I was implicated in the course of events that led to the altering...
- Hank Kingsley: Please, please... save your Ivy League double-talk for your chums down at the parlamentary debating society.
- Phil: Larry told me to do it.
- Hank Kingsley: And you just automatically do whatever the hell Larry tells you to do?
- Phil: Yes, don't you?
- Hank Kingsley: Yes! Now get the hell out of my office!
- Arthur: Declan!
- Larry Sanders: Who's Declan?
- Arthur: That's, that's his real name.
- Larry Sanders: You know... I didn't even know that.
- Arthur: Why don't you read the fucking notes?
- Larry Sanders: Why don't you shove'em up your ass?
- [Elvis Costello comes out of the room]
- Arthur: Is there a problem, sir?
- Elvis Costello: I don't even know why I did this show.
- Larry Sanders: C'mon, we're big fans...
- Elvis Costello: Oh, you're big fans. While I was there doing my number you were yap-yap-yap-yap.
- [signaling people talking]
- Arthur: [Elvis Costello smashed his dressing room] What the...
- Larry Sanders: Look at this. This reminds me of the time Angela Lansbury was on.