- Hank Kingsley: [reading a wrong fax that was sent to him] Dear dumb fuck. Who are you to sit on your fucking asshole while I'm out working my ass there trying to entertain America? Boring yellow-head talentless dickhead. You just sit there, watching me hoping the world doesn't find out what a fucking fraud you are. Sincerely, Larry suck my cock Sanders.
- Sally Field: [on Larry] I really like him.
- Hank Kingsley: I'd be careful.
- Sally Field: Why?
- Hank Kingsley: Well, you sit next to someone for eight years and you think you know them but... uh you don't.
- Larry Sanders: What's wrong?
- Beverly Barnes: Do you want me to send this to Tom Shales?
- Larry Sanders: Yes...
- Beverly Barnes: "Dear dumb fuck..."
- Larry Sanders: Keep going.
- Beverly Barnes: Larry, I'm sorry but I can't send this.
- Larry Sanders: Fine. Then I'll fax it myself.
- Beverly Barnes: Oh you don't know even know how to use the fax machine, remember?
- Larry Sanders: Oh really? Oh really? I'll turn it on, stick it in and hope for the best. It will be like sex.
- [last lines]
- Hank Kingsley: I forwarded your fax to that asshole this morning.
- Larry Sanders: Hank... let me see if I got this right. You sent Tom Shales the fax that starts out "Dear dumb fuck"?
- Hank Kingsley: Yes I did.
- Arthur: You dumb fuck.
- Larry Sanders: He says in this review that there's neediness written all over my face.
- Sally Field: I thought he said your face was puffy.
- Larry Sanders: He said that too. He said my face is puffy. What if he's right, what if he's right about all of it?
- Sally Field: So what? What if he is? I mean so what if you're needy? Who isn't needy? The whole world is needy. At least you have the guts to get out there in front of millions of people and being needy.
- Sting: Larry, you asked about "King of Pain".
- Larry Sanders: What it's that about?
- Sting: "King of Pain"?
- Larry Sanders: Yeah.
- Sting: Well, I thought it was about me but maybe it's about you.
- [laughs]
- Larry Sanders: Okay. I'll see you out there.