David L. Lander: Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman

Quotes 

• Lenny Kosnowski : Have no fear, your best man is here.

  Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman : That's right. You can say that again several times, because that is me, now where do I start?

  Lenny Kosnowski : No, no. I beg to differ. I am the best man. I brought the rice, did I not?

  Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman : Oh, aren't you something? Well, I brought the Roni, jerk

  [smacking Lenny with the packet] 

  Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman : . What's rice without Roni?

  Shirley Feeney : Carmine. Where is Carmine?

  Lenny Kosnowski : No, Carmine can't be the best man because he's the groom.

  Shirley Feeney : No, no, no. Don't you remember? You were supposed to bring Carmine. Now where is Carmine?

  Lenny Kosnowski : That didn't work out. We were ready, he wasn't.

  Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman : That's right, that's right. And what were we supposed to do, wait for him and miss the whole ceremony?

  Shirley Feeney : Ah, ah, ah.