- Lenny Kosnowski: Have no fear, your best man is here.
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: That's right. You can say that again several times, because that is me, now where do I start?
- Lenny Kosnowski: No, no. I beg to differ. I am the best man. I brought the rice, did I not?
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: Oh, aren't you something? Well, I brought the Roni, jerk
- [smacking Lenny with the packet]
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: . What's rice without Roni?
- Shirley Feeney: Carmine. Where is Carmine?
- Lenny Kosnowski: No, Carmine can't be the best man because he's the groom.
- Shirley Feeney: No, no, no. Don't you remember? You were supposed to bring Carmine. Now where is Carmine?
- Lenny Kosnowski: That didn't work out. We were ready, he wasn't.
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: That's right, that's right. And what were we supposed to do, wait for him and miss the whole ceremony?
- Shirley Feeney: Ah, ah, ah.