- Ward Cleaver: [Beaver and Larry skip school one day; the next morning, at breakfast] Now, Beaver, there's not going to be any nonsense on the way to school this morning.
- Theodore Cleaver: Gee, no, Dad.
- June Cleaver: Beaver, do Larry's mother and father know what happened yesterday?
- Theodore Cleaver: Oh sure, Mom, they know what happened.
- Ward Cleaver: I hope he was smart enough to volunteer the information.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yes sir, he volunteered.
- Ward Cleaver: As soon as he got home?
- Theodore Cleaver: No sir. After his father started wallopin' him. Pass the bread, please.
- [Larry and Beaver are watching a city worker dig a hole]
- Larry Mondello: Beaver, how come dirt falls apart when you pull it out of the ground?
- Theodore Cleaver: I don't know. When you put it in water, it turns to mud.
- Larry Mondello: Yeah. And when you got it in your ears, you get hollered at for it.
- Theodore Cleaver: It's funny stuff, all right.