- Ward Cleaver: In the first place, it's always wrong to tell a lie, and in the second place, you just build up more trouble for yourself by not facing the truth.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I wouldn't mind facin' the truth, if so much hollering didn't go with it.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [Beaver searches for a book in the study room] Ibbity, bibbity, sibbity, sab, Ibbity, bibbity, canal boat. My teacher told me to read this book.
- [June greets Ward and Wally at the kitchen door]
- June Cleaver: Well, the head of the house is home.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, Mom, here I am!
- Ward Cleaver: I, uh, picked him up on the way home.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah. I was walkin' home by myself, and there were no guys around who could see me riding with my father, so I let him ride me home. Well, uh, you know how it is, Dad.
- Ward Cleaver: [patronizing a bit] Oh, sure.
- Wally Cleaver: But thanks anyway.
- Ward Cleaver: [as Wally leaves] It's all right.
- June Cleaver: Why wouldn't a boy want to ride home with his own father, Dear?
- Ward Cleaver: Oh, I don't think he has anything against fathers in general, Dear, it's just his status as a teenager he's worried about.
- June Cleaver: Ward, what ever happened to those boys who used to boast that their father could lick anybody on the block?
- Ward Cleaver: Well, the psychologists did away with them a long time ago, Honey. Any kid today who has a good word to say about his father is a non-conformist.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: How come they can charge ya for keepin' the book overdue?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, because the library's owned by the city, and the city can do anything they want to.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: How come?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, because the city's gotta maintain law and order. They can't do that without kickin' people around.