- Joe Rossi: Come on, Donovan, I gotta get somebody. Don'tcha think you owe me?
- Art Donovan: You've never done anything for me in your life.
- Joe Rossi: I will.
- Lou Grant: [reading aloud from a list of inmates he's teaching a class to] Leroy Michael Vallow. Murder, life sentence.
- Billie Newman: Don't you find disipline in the class room a problem, Lou?
- Lou Grant: Oh, these guys are so happy to have a diversion, they'd sit there quietly for a half hour if I came in and did a tapdance.
- Art Donovan: I'd sit quietly for an hour to watch you tapdance.
- Billie Newman: I was down at the courthouse, looking for Councilman Garber's divorce years.
- Art Donovan: I hear his wife has some eight by ten glossies.
- Dennis "Animal" Price: Donovan, she's in the middle of an amusing, innocent anecdote.
- Art Donovan: [knocking on the window to Lou's office] Can we come in if we promise not to chew too loud?
- J.D.: I don't know about you guys, but as far as I'm concerned, it's Christmas and this dude just came down the chimney.
- [referring to Lou Grant]