- Lucy Carmichael: This is terrible. A big star like Joan Crawford reduced to working as a maid.
- Vivian Bunson: I don't think she's a maid.
- Lucy Carmichael: Well, how come she's dressed like that and she's cleaning the place?
- Vivian Bunson: I think this is her house and she's broke. She probably sold all her furniture just to buy food.
- Lucy Carmichael: Oh, no!
- Vivian Bunson: Oh, Lucy, when the big ones fall, they really fall.
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: Giving Joan food isn't enough. We need to find her a job so she can support herself.
- Lucy Carmichael: I hadn't thought of that.
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: And it has to be an acting job.
- Vivian Bunson: What will we do?
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: An acting job for Joan? I have a friend who has a little theater downtown.
- Lucy Carmichael: I'll write a play for her!
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: Oh, please, she's in trouble enough now.
- Joan Crawford: Mr. Mooney, your basket of food was not wasted. I donated it to a very worthy charity.
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: Oh, good, than it's deductible.
- Joan Crawford: I know. I'm deducting it.
- Agent: Joan, if you don't want to go back to work perhaps you can help someone else get a job.
- Joan Crawford: Sure, how?
- Agent: Well I have an offer for another performer who appeared in the show with you. Now I'd like the name...
- Lucy Carmichael: It's me! It's me!
- Agent: No, I'm afraid not. The producer said he was interested in the fat one.
- Vivian Bunson: That's me!
- Agent: I don't think so. He said the fat one with the mustache.
- Mr Theodore J Mooney: [bragging to Lucy and Viv] Hey, when you've got it, you've got it!
- Lucy Carmichael: Mr. Mooney wouldn't lend money to Richard Burton if he used Elizabeth Taylor as collateral.