Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [creating Tuttle's service record] Religion?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Atheist.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I don't believe in atheism. Let's make him a Druid.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : What's that?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : They worship trees.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Ah, a tree surgeon.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [writing] Druid, reformed. They're allowed to pray at bushes.
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Maj. Frank Marion 'Ferret Face' Burns : Have you seen Tuttle?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : You just missed him. He went to X-ray with Hot Lips. Said something about doing some chest pictures.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : College?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Harvard?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : No, it can't be at anyplace they'll check.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : How about "Berlin Polytechnic"?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Yeah... Berlinisches Polytechnikum... right after he graduated from Adolf Hitler High.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [creating Tuttle's profile] Now something for Hotlips. Height: 6 foot 4. Weight: 195 pounds. Hair: Auburn. Eyes: Hazel...
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Hawkeye, I think I'm in love.
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Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : How did you come up with a name like Tuttle anyway?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : He was my imaginary childhood friend.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : You had an imaginary friend?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Yeah, if anybody said, who knocked over the garbage? I'd say Tuttle. Who broke the window? Tuttle. Who wet the bed?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Tuttle!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : He had no control.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : So when you got drafted...
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Tuttle got drafted.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Just in case you wet your cot.