Magnum, P.I. (TV Series)

Faith and Begorrah (1983)

Michael de Ycaza: Bartender

Quotes 

• [Higgins meets his half-brother Father Paddy McGuinness at a sleazy bar] 

  Father Paddy McGuinness : Faith and begorrah. Johnny. It is you, me brother.

  Higgins : [approaches]  Half-brother.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : It's been fifteen years.

  [Paddy bends over and touches Higgins' right shoulder with his dirty hand. Disgusted, Higgins brushes off his suit] 

  Higgins : Seventeen, to be precise.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : Let me look at you. You're fat as a fiddle.

  Higgins : That's "fit as a fiddle".

  Father Paddy McGuinness : [laughs]  Barkeep, give me brother whatever he wants.

  Higgins : [to the bartender]  Glencadam on the rocks.

  [the bartender looks confused] 

  Higgins : [impatiently]  That's Scotch. You do have Scotch, don't you?

  Bartender, at the 'Beach Bar' : Yeah, sure we do.

  [the bartender shows Higgins a bottle] 

  Bartender, at the 'Beach Bar' : Uh Bonnie Hawaii, made right here in the islands, 3. 50 a bottle.

  [Higgins looks disgusted] 

  Father Paddy McGuinness : [to the bartender]  Pour him a spot of mine.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : [to Higgins]  They didn't have any Irish, so I went out and bought me some. How did you know I was here?

  Higgins : A rather bizarre coincidence. You met one of the guests at Robin Masters' estate, Thomas Magnum.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : [nods]  The lad at the airport.

  Higgins : Yes. Well, he said he dropped you of...

  [Higgins looks disgusted] 

  Higgins : ...here. Patrick, what are you doing in Hawaii?

  [the bartender gives Higgins a glass of drink with a wooden doll on a stick. Higgins looks disgusted. He glares at the bartender] 

  Bartender, at the 'Beach Bar' : Hotel policy, I've got to put 'em in all the drinks.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : To Father.

  [a long pause] 

  Higgins : To Father.

  [they drink. Higgins obviously does not like his drink. He places the glass on the table] 

  Higgins : Now, what are you doing here?

  Father Paddy McGuinness : Well, Johnny, it's a long tale and I don't want to bore you.

  Higgins : You always did have a tendency to run on a bit.

  Father Paddy McGuinness : [chuckles]  Me, run on? You could put a leprechaun to sleep on St. Patrick's Day.

  Higgins : Leprechauns and St. Patrick's Day, what sort of a metaphor is that?

  Father Paddy McGuinness : An Irish one.

  Higgins : That's always been your problem, Patrick. You can't shake those Gaelic roots.