- [Marcy sneaks behind Al and hits him on his butt with a beam of wood]
- Al Bundy: [turns around] Ouch! What did I ever do to you?
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: You were born! You live here! And... I don't know what you did to the bird-bath, but the little birdies won't go there anymore!
- Inspector Fitzpatrick: Alright, plumbing passes, but where's your handicap access?
- Carlos: [after installing a ramp] Okay, bring on the 3-legged dogs.